


Surviving

by SomniSol



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Cruelty, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Isolation, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Slow Build, Survival, Torture, zombies!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-03-04 02:53:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2906588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomniSol/pseuds/SomniSol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How much would you change when the situation calls for it? What would you do to ensure your own survival each and every day? What kind of person would you become? Who would you betray? What secrets would you keep? It's survival of the fittest, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Change

_“We’re 2.3 miles away. A few followers, but not too hard to lose.”_

“Alright. How much did you manage to obtain?”

_“Not much, but it’s something. I’m sure Saitou will be able to make use of it.”_

“Sometimes I wonder if we overestimate the guy. Very well, as always make sure to take out any LDs loitering around the basement.”

He set the small walkie down, going to check the cameras. As expected a few LDs were waiting around the back entrance of the garage. He didn’t worry too much about them. They would be taken care of when Kadota’s crew arrived. Their supply of gasoline had run low, but more rations would be given after a confirmation from Shiki-san. 

The lights flickered, before settling back to their consistent glow. He looked up at the buzzing fluorescents with an irritated scowl.

_Tch...I guess I’ll need to get Saitou back here to look at that generator._

The sound of impatient banging on his door caught broke him from his thoughts as he went to answer. He wasn’t surprised to see a very angry Namie with soapy dripping hair and only a small towel wrapped tightly around her body.

“Izaya, you need to get that tech geek to fix the stupid generator! I was in the middle of taking a shower and now the water won’t turn back on!”

The raven hair man rolled his eyes, “There’s nothing I can do for now, Namie. You know that things tend to malfunction every now and then, so suck it up and deal with it.”

She huffed and stomped away, back to her own apartment. Izaya slammed the door shut, going back to his desk to monitor the cameras. He was met with disappointment when the screens read ‘OFFLINE.’

_“Izaya, the elevator’s not working. Should we leave the load down here?”_

He snatched the walkie off the desk, “You’re gonna have to. Another power surge hit. We’ll have to go get Saitou.”

_“We don’t have enough fuel to make the trip.”_

“I know that. You’ll have to go see Shiki again, though I don’t think the van will make it that far. I’ll convince him to meet you half way. Just come on up for now, I’ll need this line to contact him.”

_“Roger that.”_

The static ceased from the other end. Izaya twisted the knob, changing it to the other line. 

“Shiki-san, come in. Shiki-san.”

_“Awakusu here.”_

“This is Orihara, I need to speak with Shiki-san.”

_“Shiki-san is currently…busy. I’ll let him know you radioed in and have him contact you back.”_

Izaya let out a dry chuckle. This conversation reminded him of the good old days, “Very well, please inform him as soon as possible.”

_“Will do, Orihara-san.”_

The line went dead again.

He would have to wait for their ‘tech geek,’ as Namie liked to call him, to fix the cameras. They could do without them, but Izaya liked to have them operational in case of any kind of emergency. He had the desperate need to see what was going on at all times, especially since information was harder communicate at certain times. 

He remembered their first power outage, he had nearly lost his mind. Scrambling around to find a source of power, even a simple flashlight. No one was around, it was deathly silent. He almost made himself believe that he really was all alone. He had locked himself in his room, and the last thing he remembered was Kadota knocking on his door, trying to get him to come out. 

When they finally did manage to get him out, they said nothing. No words were needed, they all understood his fear. Izaya was thankful at the time. He didn’t want to explain himself, for fear of breaking down right there and then. He didn’t care about the situation they were in, he never wanted anyone to see him in such a pitiful state.

He heard the doorknob turning and three pairs of boot clad feet stomping in. 

“Other than not being able to bring up your findings, were there any complications?” 

Kadota shook his head, “It was a pretty smooth trip. We did hear some shots fired. Sounded like it was around the west exit of Bukuro Station.”

“Did you investigate?” Izaya quirked an eyebrow.

“No, it was only a few shots and then we didn’t hear anymore.”

“Be more cautious next time. I don’t want anyone following you here. The only ones to know of our location will be Shiki-san and Saitou. I don’t trust Namie’s ‘friends’ and I don’t want them following you here.”

Kadota was hesitant about following Izaya’s orders, but they served for protection. People couldn’t be trusted, no matter how desperate and innocent they seemed. They had learned that lesson before.

“Alright, we will.”

“Izaya, have you contacted Shiki?” Togusa piped in.

“I did, but he was busy. I was told they would contact us when he was available. For now though, you three can go rest. I won’t send you back out there, so good work for today. I’ll let you know when I get word from Shiki-san.” 

The three nodded, before they started filing out of the room. The last one to leave was Erika, she glanced at Izaya who gave her a small smile and then she let the door close behind her with a soft click. 

She didn’t talk much nowadays. She was always so serious, except around Namie. She absolutely despised Namie and their run ins never really ended well. 

She reminded Izaya of how much everyone had changed, including himself. Before he would’ve loved to amuse himself with their very predictable behavior. How this whole ordeal had affected them and reduced them to their very core. It brought out the darkness that they never knew they had. He would have enjoyed this, if he weren’t feeling the same way. 

Izaya surprised himself, which was something he never thought he was capable of. Over time, he’s realized that there are many things he never knew he was capable of. Also many things he never he feared. His fears, insecurities, his lack of knowledge, it had all dealt a serious blow to his life. He used to be on top of the world and now there were times where he felt even lower than he already was.

This was something he was never able to predict or prepare for. Something he didn’t plan. All control had been taken from him and left him flat on his ass. 

He was set on regaining that control.

He spent an hour rereading the same old books on his shelf. They ranged from complex reads such as Animal Farm to simple picture books like Dr. Seuss’s Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? As much as he loved a good read, children’s books seemed to bring him comfort. They were always filled with positive messages and really expressed the naivety of children. He was so caught up in the colorful illustrations that he almost didn’t hear the voice calling him from the walkie. 

_“Orihara…Orihara, come in…Orihara!...”_

Izaya quickly got up and grabbed the walkie, “Orihara here. Sorry about that Shiki-san.”

_“It’s fine, just pay attention next time. So what did you need?”_

“We’re low on fuel and we need more. Unfortunately the van won’t make it all the way over there. Can you please meet up with them somewhere a bit closer. I don’t want them stranded somewhere without protection.”

It was quiet on the other side. Shiki was probably contemplating on how he wanted to go about this.

_“Orihara, I can only offer three gallons.”_

Izaya’s grip tightened on the walkie, “Three gallons?! Shiki are you trying to screw me over?”

_“Watch who you’re talking to boy. I’m not obligated to do this you know. It’s getting harder and harder for my men to find fuel. Three gallons is all I can give you, take it or leave it.”_

“Fine, but I think it would be an even bigger waste to drive there. So we’ll go on foot.”

_“Are you sure about that? That would be a pretty stupid move to make.”_

“At this point, what choice do I have? The van’s tank is almost empty. We’ll need to conserve fuel for now.”

_“Very well. Can you meet us along Meijiro Dori? It’s closer.”_

“Yes, that works. Tomorrow?”

_“What time can I expect you there?”_

“Noon.”

_“Don’t make me wait Orihara.”_

“Thank you again Shiki-san.” Izaya turned off the walkie, setting it down with a heavy sigh.

He would gladly send Kadota, Togusa, and Erika out alone when they had the van, but without it he always made himself go with them, however, he didn’t like walking around the city. He just didn’t want to be responsible for more deaths. Walking around the city was dangerous and they risked their lives every time they stepped out.

He was terrified beyond belief, but it would make him more of a coward to send people out on foot and not accompany them. Izaya was no coward. 

...

“Izaya? Do you need something?”

“No, just bored.”

Shinra opened the door a bit wider, gesturing for Izaya to come in, “I guess boredom really gets to you when you don’t have the internet.”

“Or people to talk to.” Izaya added.

“That too. So what’s up with the electricity? Generator acting up again?” Shinra changed the subject.

“Yeah. It seems to be fine for now, but we can’t really get Saitou here. We don’t have enough fuel to make the trip. In fact tomorrow I’ll be going with the crew to meet up with Shiki.”

“There isn’t even enough gasoline to go to Shiki’s and back?”

Izaya shook his head, “No. Shiki told me that all they can give us is three gallons.”

“Three gallons?!”

“That’s what I said. He says it’s getting harder to find it around here. And as annoying as it is, I can’t blame him. It’s too dangerous to venture out to far. We’ve been surviving just fine the way we are. We have plenty of necessities and I guess fuel isn’t a big one unless we needed to leave, which isn’t going to happen anytime soon.”

Shinra nodded, “I can understand that. But we aren’t the only ones around here. Besides us, and Shiki of course, there’s also that other group that Saitou’s with. And I’m pretty sure there are more people still in Ikebukuro. I hear gunshots sometimes.”

“Well if those people keep shooting rounds in Ikebukuro then that will only mean less problems for us. Less LDs and less competition.”

The doctor's eyes narrowed, “You’re cruel.”

“I’m realistic.” Izaya shot back.

“We should be helping those people.” Shinra frowned.

Izaya sighed, “Shinra, we’ve discussed this before. I’m not a charity. I’ll gladly help someone that is of use to me, but I can’t take in every person that comes begging at my door.”

“You say that as if the whole city will be coming to you.”

“It’s like a domino effect Shinra. Once someone hears of a promised sanctuary, more will surely follow.”

“You of all people should know how terrifying it is to be out there alone.”

Izaya scoffed, “And like being here alone isn’t any different?”

“We all have each other.”

“You all have each other." the raven emphasized, " I’m only here because no one else wants to be in charge. You could all easily throw me out.”

“We wouldn’t do that to you!” Shinra argued.

“If you were tired of dealing with me then you would.”

“We need you. We all need each other. And those people out there need us.”

“Well we don’t need them. Unless they can contribute to the group like the rest of us, then there is no point.”

“What about your sisters, huh? How the hell did they ever contribute?!”

Izaya clutched the old switchblade in his pocket and it only took Shinra a second to realize his mistake. They both sat in silence cursing themselves internally for letting their emotions go.

“That was a low blow, I’m sorry.”

The raven slowly shook his head, “No you’re right. They were only here because of my own selfish needs. I know I’m a hypocrite. It cost me those two to realize it.”

More silence.

“Do you think Celty will come back?”

Izaya felt an ache in his chest. Even if she was gone, Shinra still had Celty. Izaya however, didn't have anyone, “I know she will. She’s probably missing you more each day…I’m sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t do anything.”

“I gave her, her head back.” Izaya reminded him.

“She needed it. She needed to find the others and see if there was some kind of solution to this mess. Plus, she hates you, not me.”

Izaya chuckled, “That’s good.”

The two friends sat there, no more words needed to be spoken. Sure they’ve hit a rough patch since this all started, but they always managed to forget the harsh words and try to back to the way they used to be. 

Izaya left with a simple wave, receiving a nod.

...

_“Please Iza-nii! We never get to spend time with you!”_

_“Iza-nii…no time…”_

_The raven sighed, “Don’t you two go out with mom and dad?”_

_“Yeah, but it’s not the same! You always used to take us out. Please! It’s just for ice cream!”_

_“Vanilla…french…”_

_“See!” Mairu squished up her sister’s face and held it in front of Izaya, “Kururi still remembers you’re favorite flavor!”_

_“Why don’t you two go with Namie?”_

_“Nuo fwun…” Kururi spoke between her squooshed cheeks._

_“Hey! I’m not babysitting them!” said secretary had yelled from the other room._

_The two twin sisters looked to their brother with hopeful gazes. His face remained indifferent but even after all these years he couldn’t say ‘no’ to those faces._

_“Namie! Postpone my next appointment!” he got a frustrated growl in response._

_“EEEEEEEEE!!!” The two girls jumped up and down, or more like Mairu jumped up and down bringing Kururi with her, “Come on Iza-nii! You’re buying!”_

_“Of course…” He picked up his wallet and keys heading out the door with both of his younger siblings clinging onto each of his arms._

_..._

_“Coffee…”_

_“I want Cookies and Cream! Ooh! There’s also cheesecake! No wait, there’s cinnamon swirl! Ok I change my mind, I want Cookies and Cream!”_

_“Coffee…”_

_The young woman behind the counter tried her best to keep her fake smile from wavering. Izaya applauded her patience with his sisters, since he had already lost his. The same thing happened every time he took them out for ice cream. Mairu would make a big fuss over which flavor she wanted to get and in the end she would always settle for her favorite Cookies and Cream. Meanwhile Kururi would keep announcing the flavor she wanted, which as always was Coffee. They usually went to different shops but the flavors were all the same. The employee would always try and keep calm for the three strange Oriharas, but Izaya could see that they only wanted them to leave more than anything._

_Izaya slapped a hand over Mairu’s blabbering mouth, “We’ll take three cones, one scoop each. Cookies and Cream, Coffee, and French Vanilla.”_

_The girl nodded and quickly got to work on their orders._

_Even with a hand covering her mouth, Mairu kept talking while Kururi looked between the two. It wasn’t until Izaya felt something warm and wet on his palm that he quickly retracted his hand._

_“Mairu!”_

_“Not my fault Iza-nii! I couldn’t breathe!”_

_“You can breathe through your nose.” The raven grumbled as he grabbed a napkin and cleaned off his sister’s spit._

_“H-Here you go.” The girl held out two of the cones and the twins snatched them up._

_“Aw! Iza-nii still remembers!” Mairu licked the frozen treat from her cone and Kururi soon followed suit. The informant was handed his cone and he paid for the ice cream before they left the dessert shop._

_“Iza-nii!”_

_“What?” Izaya didn’t have time to register what had happened until the two were suddenly laughing at him. Something cold and creamy was melting on his nose and it had a strong caffeinated scent to it. He didn’t have to ask. Even if it was Kururi’s ice cream, Mairu was obviously the perpetrator. While the youngest of the two didn’t hold back on her obnoxious laughter, the older one stifled a few giggles._

_Izaya couldn’t help but let an amused smile grace his lips._

...

His eyes fluttered open. He looked over at the window, seeing that it was still pretty dark outside. It was either really late at night or really early in the morning. What was the difference? 

He felt that familiar moisture in his eyes and it was already too late to stop the tears from flowing. He choked out a strangled sob. His arms wrapped around himself as he curled up into a ball. He always made sure to keep quiet for fear that someone or something out there would hear him. He cried into his pillow which was already a little moist from his sweat. 

He never had nightmares. Only dreams. And those dreams hurt him more than any nightmare ever could. He was already living the nightmare. Those dreams made him never want to wake up. 

“M-Mairu…Kuru…”

The broken man was left to weep, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURVIVING WINS! YAY!
> 
> So after this one, the next fic I will move onto will be "How to Train a Vampire" then "Forever" and then "What Happened" but I probably won't be getting there for a while. We'll see how long it will take me. (Hopefully not too long!)
> 
> Durarara or it's characters do not belong to me, they belong to Ryohgo Narita  
> There will be OCs (as you can see in this chapter) they belong to me.


	2. It's Different Now

He secured all his blades where he could easily reach them. A total of 12 each, and more that he carried with him in a light backpack. Some of them were different lengths, sizes, and types of blades, but Izaya was skilled with them all. Kadota was the only one he trusted with a guns, generously supplied by Shiki. Even with the suppressors on, they were only to use guns in dangerous emergencies. Erika was ready with a few, safely stored, Molotovs and some homemade bombs. The bombs, much like the guns, were only for emergencies. The smoke bombs were silent and used for cover. For a close range she usually carried around an old cosplay sword. The thing was useless at first but after sharpening it, it was lethal. And Erika really knew her way around the sword. Togusa always carried around a different weapon. He’d switch off every once in a while. Either a crowbar, a barbed baseball bat, hatchets, other dangerous garden tools, and he even managed to find a police baton somewhere. Between him, Kadota, and Izaya they would take on the LDs. 

Izaya felt as though it had to do with chivalry or something. The three men usually did the dirty work. They protected her, not because she couldn’t handle herself, oh no. Erika was a very capable fighter. Cold, calculating, and ruthless. They all had to admit that it was scary. When she got like that, it was usually hard to calm her down. She’d fight with a completely blank expression. When they were out there, everything else disappeared. She focused on her targets and took them out in one swing. She never looked back. 

The unfortunate thing was that it always took its toll on her. They could all see it. Whenever they got back from these trips she would seclude herself for days. They used to leave food out for her but when she never ate it, they had to stop. It was a waste and they couldn’t afford it. 

They had their own dress code, as requested by Izaya. Dark clothes, since they stuck to the shadows. Not thought of as the best idea, but it served them well if they ever had to go out at night, which was incredibly rare. They’ve only gone out at night once, and they had the van that time. LDs tended to be in wide clear spaces during the day so it was easy to take the back alleys with their dark clothing. Some lurked around in the back alleys, but those came in few numbers and were easy to take out. Gloves were essential as well. Thick ones. They didn’t have much knowledge of how the virus spread other than bites or scratches. They didn’t want to risk getting blood on their skin, and that risk was increased when all their weapons were hand held.

“We leave at 11. Should take us about half an hour to get there.” He checked the current time. 10:47. His nerves were starting to act up. He really didn’t know how those three could do this most of the time, even with an armored van. “Where the hell is Namie?” She was supposed to be up this early. When Izaya wasn’t here, she was in charge of monitoring the cameras and reporting any abnormalities. She hasn’t been over here and Togusa had already went to knock at her door. No answer. Izaya didn’t see her on the cameras so she was probably hiding in her apartment contacting her ‘friends,’ when she should be here!

A strong hand was placed on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll be alright Izaya. And Shinra’s still here too. This place is good.”

“I know that. But she should know her job by now.” He grumbled. It got annoying after a while. They all had a job to do and she did contribute, but she wasn’t very timely about it. It’s not like they could wait for her all day. 

Kadota gave him a firm pat on the shoulder before stepping back. “Don’t worry. I know it’s a little nerve wracking. Just stick close, you can handle yourself well enough.”

“Izaya, she’s coming, but she’s not in a very good mood.” They all turned towards Togusa who had just walked in. 

“Thanks. We’ll be leaving soon anyway, so we won’t have to deal with it.”

Namie came back in, sloppily dressed with her hair tied up in a ponytail. She looked pretty pissed about being woken up but Izaya didn’t feel sorry for her. It’s not like she worked during the day. All she ever did was lay around doing nothing and sometimes help out Shinra in their makeshift lab. 

The lab was a few floors down to give them all the space they needed and they were even able to use the lower level basement for testing. Kadota usually went down there with them too, for security, since the lower levels were directly below the parking garage. They only exited the building from the parking garage since the front door was thoroughly barricaded. 

Shinra and Namie had tons of medical supplies, but a majority of the supplies were kept safe, far away from their testing. After all, they all needed the supplies more than their test subjects did. 

“I don’t have to tell you what needs to be done Namie, just do it. Kadota, lead the way.”

Izaya remembered when he used to love going out for some fresh air. Nowadays he almost wished that he could somehow defy his need for oxygen. They once feared that the virus was airborne but it was soon discovered that the air was clean enough. That didn’t stop the fowl stench of rotting corpses from spreading though. The smell lingered in the air and when it rained, it only got worse. The smell of blood and flesh would emanate from the ground the next day. He missed that earthy scent from the rain. 

Luckily there were not many LDs shuffling around the garage. Kadota took them out and Togusa had to finish the job for the one that kept crawling towards them. Silence was key. Noise was to be kept to a minimum. Even talking in a normal voice was dangerous. Since they always walked so close together, it was okay to whisper. They had to keep their voices low because LDs seemed to easily pick up on language. In the city, LDs were everywhere and anywhere. They popped up at random places, which is why they kept their tight knit formation. They only separated to check around street corners and alleyways. With such a big population in Shinjuku, there could be an entire hoard of LDs waiting for them just around the corner. They were nearly overwhelmed one time. The only reason they got away was because Togusa came rushing in with the van. 

In this new world, they had to learn from their mistakes and fast. They couldn’t afford to make much error. One wrong move and they were dead. 

Kadota stopped at the corner, his back glued to the wall. “Stay close. Weapons ready.” They followed his orders, fixing their stances and slowly following along. The leader snuck a peek around the corner and flashed them his hand. Five. He pointed two fingers in our direction. That was the signal for just Togusa. Izaya would stay with Erika and they would keep a lookout. 

The two went into the alley and Izaya flinched at the sound of bodies dropping. He didn’t like any of this, but it was something he just had to deal with. He hated everything about them. The way they limped around, the hissing, gurgling noises they made, their filthy emaciated bodies, the smell, everything. It wasn’t often he caught a glimpse of one in person. He shuddered. He’s killed plenty of them, but nowhere near as much as Kadota and Togusa. They usually did all the dirty work. 

He looked over when he felt a tap on his shoulder. “What is it?”

Erika was pointing to a few other LDs coming towards them. Not many, but he could handle them. Taking in a few deep breaths, he pulled out a Kaiken. “Stay here.” He was afraid to leave her, but if worse came to worse, she could handle herself. As soon as he stepped out, the saw him. Their pace quickened, scrambling to get to him, even though it didn’t make them that much faster. He kept his defensive stance all the while facing the blade towards them. One of them snarled at him and swung it’s boney hand. He dodged the pathetic attack and with one swift motion, stabbed the knife through its head. Their blood wasn’t even red anymore, more like a dark brown. It was disgusting. He attacked the others, bringing them down just like the first. The last one snuck up on him but a katana went straight through its head right before it could touch him. It’s body slumped to the ground, revealing Erika behind it. Her eyes were wild, but empty. She clutched onto the handle of the sword with two shaking hands. Her shoulders were tense, as if she was expecting something to happen. 

Kadota and Togusa came out of the alleyway, watching the scene before them. Izaya slowly stepped closer to the girl. He held the knife loosely in his hand and he raised them both in the air to show that he wouldn’t harm her. “Erika, it’s okay now. We have a mission to get done. Let’s go.” 

“Erika.” Kadota put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched and turned on him, but she relaxed when she saw it was him. Kadota had a calming effect on her, and it saved them most of the time. If she wasn’t stopped, she’d run off looking for more to kill. “Erika, let’s go.”

She nodded, putting her sword down. They continued on, for about half an hour. There were more LDs along the way but they avoided them as best as they could. Izaya kept an eye on Erika the whole time. He thanked her for saving him back there and she simply nodded as a reply. 

Izaya spotted the armored cars up ahead and they ran the rest of the way. Men in suits stepped out and walked towards them. Shiki was among them and stepped forward. “Orihara, what did I tell you about making me wait?”

“My apologies Shiki-san, but we’re early.” Izaya glanced down at his watch. A few minutes early, but still early. When it came to deals with Shiki, Izaya did all the talking. He was better with his words and he knew the yakuza leader on a personal level. 

“I remember telling you not to make me wait. So you’re late.” Shiki’s expression was stern. He didn’t like being out here and wasting his own gasoline either. With his finger, he motioned for Izaya to come closer. The smaller raven went as he was ordered, yes ordered. He knew what was to come. “Big Boss doesn’t have time for these kinds of things anymore. So you’re going to have to give us something as a trade. Since it doesn’t look like you have anything now, you know what I have to do. No hard feelings Izaya.” 

Izaya saw it coming but if he so much as flinched, he would be worse off. One swift punch from Shiki was all it took to go plummeting face first onto the ground. The other yakuza joined in on the assault. They kicked him until he was a bloody, swollen mess. 

Kadota wanted to do something, but against this many armed men, they didn’t stand a chance. Togusa was tense as well, and Erika wasn’t looking. They couldn’t do anything but let it happen.

After a few minutes, Shiki raised his hand as a signal to stop. He grabbed Izaya by the collar and shoved him onto the hood of a car. He pulled out his own knife and rolled up the back of Izaya’s shirt. “Don’t worry, this knife is clean.” He carved in a long, jagged tally mark. Izaya bit his lip, holding back the pained cry threatening to escape his lips. He was not going to show weakness in front of these people. Izaya Orihara is not supposed to show weakness.

“That’s one. Now go, get out of here. Next time you radio in, have something useful for me.” Shiki shoved him back towards his group. 

Kadota went to retrieve the small container of gas before helping Izaya back up. The ex-informant brushed him off. He didn’t need help and he didn’t need to make himself look more pathetic then he already felt. He got off the ground and stood on wobbly legs. When he was okay he walked on ahead, the rest of their group followed. He wanted to get back home.  
.

.

.

.

.

“I’ll give you credit for this one. Kadota said you didn’t budge.” Shinra applied a topical anesthetic to the surface near the wound. Izaya winced at the contact, but quickly regained his composure. 

“If I would have let the pain show on my face that would have just give them the satisfaction they wanted.” Shiki wasn’t a bad guy, he was just following orders above him. That was understandable. They still followed the hierarchy within the yakuza because of respect. Even though the world has gone to crap, maintaining that order kept them organized and made them powerful. 

The doctor frowned at his response, “I don’t think you should contact him anymore. We have nothing to trade so there’s no point.”

“Shinra he’s the only one that goes out far enough to find gas. It might not be a big necessity but it’s something we should have in case. If we ever have to leave, then we’ll need it.”

“That’s ‘if’ we need to leave. I don’t think we’ll ever have to. It’s safe here, we have plenty of food and water, and enough room for everyone to live comfortably. The only reason we need fuel is for Kadota to go out and find anything that’s useful. I hate to break it to you Izaya, but there’s not much out there. Everything disappeared as soon as this mess started.” The looters took anything they could get their hands on. Stores, homes, building, everything was emptied out within hours. It worked to their advantage since everyone was so busy grabbing things, they didn’t do a good job of protecting themselves from the LDs. “Feel anything?” He asked, poking the skin right by the wound.

“No. And there are plenty of supplies and resources out there, you just need to look in the right places.” 

Shinra stitched him up, wondering why it was just one line. Izaya told him it was to mark his mistake, but he couldn’t be sure if that was really it. Shiki was a very confusing man. One minute he would be buddy buddy with Izaya and the next he does this!

“Are you sure about that?”

Izaya rolled his eyes. “Yes I am. I actually decided that we would go out tomorrow to look for more. They didn’t find much yesterday but some scrap for the van, spark plugs, and a whole bunch of other stuff that Saitou could probably use.”

He finished stitching up the cut and sprayed some antiseptic . “Sit up. So what could you possibly be looking for now?”

Following the doctor’s orders, Izaya pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Nothing in particular, whatever we can find really.”

“Are you going to take the van?” Shinra pulled out a small roll of gauze bandages and began wrapping them around Izaya’s midsection. 

“No, we still have to conserve gasoline. I have to find something good to trade with Shiki-san so we have more. I think it’s better to save it now so we have plenty when we need it.” He wasn’t going to make the same mistake as today. And Shiki would not be impressed with any old thing, so it would have to be good. 

The doctor cut the small piece and secured it so the rest of the bandages wouldn’t slip off. “Did you already tell them?” 

“No, I was going to after you finished patching me up.” 

“Is it too tight?”

Izaya shifted a bit to test it out then shook his head. “Thanks.” 

“No prob, and don’t let Shiki do this again.” He gave Izaya his shirt back to put on. “It’s dangerous you know.”

The raven slipped his shirt back on and hopped off the table, grabbing his jacket as well. “I know, but I won’t let myself get infected so easily.” 

.

.

“I don’t know Izaya. We just went out today and it didn’t turn out so great.” Kadota didn’t mean to bring it up since Izaya probably felt humiliated by what Shiki did to him and in front of all of them. 

Izaya didn’t want that thrown back in his face. It was too soon. “Well we’re not going to meet up with Shiki, we’re just going out to see what else we can find besides parts for the van.”

“And you don’t want to take the van?”

“No, it would be a waste to use up the remaining fuel we have. If we get something valuable to trade with Shiki he’ll continue giving us our ration of gasoline. We’ll store every gallon we get and when we have plenty, then you can use it. It’s better to save for now.” 

Kadota thought about it. They did need gas if they ever wanted to drive somewhere. Walking around the city was very dangerous, but they knew the streets around here, they could manage. Togusa wouldn’t really mind going but Erika wouldn’t like it. He could try and talk her into it, but right now he wasn’t sure she would agree. 

“I’ll have to ask Erika for now.” 

“She doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t want to.”

Kadota shot him a glare, “You know she won’t let us go without her.”

That was actually something he was counting on. She wouldn’t let Kadota and Togusa leave without taking her along too. They were together all the time and that started about a year and a half ago. It was a weakness of hers that he used to his advantage, but if it offered any consolation he would be going too. “Look, we really need this. We’ll make the trips minimal and space them out to give us time to rest up. It’s just to stock up on gas, but we can’t do that if we don’t give Shiki what he wants.”

Izaya could be a cold bastard sometimes, but he was the leader and Kadota had to respect that. He wasn’t much of the leader type, no matter what people thought. He was more of a follower who sticks with doing the right thing, which was why he left the Blue Squares so long ago. 

He didn’t always agree with Izaya’s leadership but it’s helped them survive this long and he owed Izaya a lot for letting them stay here with as much resources as he had. In the end he wasn’t really sure if they were all just using each other to survive or if they were really sticking together as ‘friends’ to stay strong and pull through. No one really socialized around here. Shinra was usually by himself ever since Celty left, Namie never came out of her apartment, Erika didn’t talk, and Togusa would sometimes hang out with him but it was usually awkward and quiet! And Izaya, well he was probably the loneliest of the bunch. He didn’t have anyone, not Namie, not Shinra, not even them. He had no one. It was actually sad and maybe also another reason Kadota stayed against better judgement. He remembered the first time he saw Izaya breakdown. He was like a scared little animal and the sight was so unnatural that it was enough to make Kadota stay. Not that it really was any different now, they still didn’t really talk, but he knew that just being here put the raven at ease. 

He sighed, “Alright, but for every nightmare she has, it’s going to be your ass I beat to the ground.”

“Fine.”

.

.

.

They were awakened by more gunshots. The only reason they noticed them were because they sounded much too close for comfort.  
Erika’s eyes shot open as she suddenly had trouble keeping her breath even. She hated guns, the sound of bullets being fired always made her sick to her stomach. She hesitantly got out of bed and walked towards the window to see if she could spot any activity this late at night. 

It was too dark to tell from here, but as usual she could see the filthy creatures lurking around down there. There were so many in the city. Sometimes she wondered if they would ever leave Tokyo, go somewhere much more secluded. They were safe here, but she hated seeing them all the time. She wanted them all to die and if she could, she would burn down the whole city. Maybe the world. 

She could see a figure in the dark, it was going faster than most LDs could. Must be a live one. She didn’t see many of them often, but it’s not as if there was something she could for them. Izaya’s word was final, no one is allowed in without his permission and no one was to know of their location. The last time they let a stranger inside it didn’t end well. Saitou and Shiki-san were the only ones who were supposed to know where they were. 

Another shot fired.

Whoever this was, had to be pretty stupid to fire rounds in the city. Too dangerous, just because the stupid beasts are slow doesn’t mean they don’t stand a threat. They had numbers on their side and that was enough to overwhelm anyone. It was too bad, maybe they actually could have helped this guy. 

She watched as a dark hoard closed in on him but then this person did something that she least expected. They charged straight through the crowd of monsters and as soon as they were free, they ran. Now she knew that this person had to be a complete idiot. No one should ever risk charging through a hoard of LDs. A single scratch would be the end of you. Those things reach out and claw at you until they have you in their clutches. That person probably had a few scratches from doing that, meaning they were already dead, just like…

Erika shuffled back into bed, flinching every time she heard another gunshot. That poor person was still fighting to stay alive even after they were already dead.

.

Kadota was listening intently to the sound of the gun. Each had their own distinct sound, even if others couldn’t pick up on it. This one was a small hand gun, and it sounded like the ones law enforcements used. So it was probably a Glock 19. 9mm. Whoever was firing the shots picked this gun up from a police officer and by the number of shots he’s heard so far, they didn’t have many left. It could only shout 15 rounds at a time and this person was wasting them like there was no tomorrow, which probably fit right about now. They probably wouldn’t see tomorrow. 

He felt bad that this person was most likely going to die, but that was how life was nowadays. Hopefully they would survive and hopefully they would find a safe place to stay. But who knew how long that would last until he went hungry or he made a fatal mistake? In their case, not long. He would just have to lay back and let it happen. 

Even if he wanted to help the guy he would have to wake up Izaya and tell him, and from past experiences, Izaya would not want to help. Other than that, who would want to go out in the middle of the night and risk being eaten alive? Definitely not him, but he still wanted to help that guy. Things have changed and he just couldn’t afford to be making stupid impulsive decisions. He had to look out for everyone here. Izaya might act like he was strong but he was probably the weakest link. Putting on a mask to keep his true feelings hidden. If he kept holding things in, one day he would just lose it and he wouldn’t know how to handle that.

When the bullets stopped he assumed the person ran out of ammo. They probably wouldn’t make it long enough to see morning. That’s just how life was now.

.

Izaya stayed in bed, holding the pillow over his ears, trying his hardest to just block out the sound. It wasn’t working. The city was so quiet now and a noise as loud as a gunshot could be heard from miles away. He hated it, but sleeping was never a better option. He couldn’t stand dreaming and then waking up to this again. He couldn’t stand any of this. 

He was so relieved when it was quiet again. He sniffled, wiping away the tears. Crying had become an ugly habit for him. It was something he tried to avoid but sometimes the feeling was just too overwhelming. Sometimes he would wake up and realize that he passed out from so much distress. He couldn’t handle it no matter how much he built himself up every day. 

Shinra knew and he worried about it, but Izaya kept as much to himself as possible. He hated to admit it, but he hated loneliness. He hated it so much. Everyone had someone here, even Namie. She had her own communications with people from Nebula. They were still around but they didn’t tell her where and so she was stuck here with them. Izaya had no one. No one trusted him and they all hated the way he ran things, despite it being efficient. He would never let it get to him, but now it was different. He was a lonely man and he just wanted someone he could be close with. 

Loneliness. He hated it because it just proved how human he really was. Humans are social creatures who need other humans in their lives. He was no exception to that. He needed someone because these humans didn’t want him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a few months late and I'm sorry for that, but...
> 
> SURVIVING WINS! 
> 
> This received more votes and so I continued with this one! As promised the chapter is longer and I hope you all like it and enjoy this fic until the very end, which won't be for a while. I don't have a schedule for this as it's going to get pretty busy for me. Starting college in the fall, job hunting and whatnot. So I hope that I won't take too long with updating chapters! 
> 
> A good heads up, sorry for any spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and/or bad wording. It's hard to reread things and look for all that so I just try my best. If it gets really bad then let me know and I'll put more effort into my work. Sorry I'm just so lazy and it's hard to find enough time as it is. -_-
> 
> Thank you for all of you who voted, for those that just happened to stumble along this fic, for those currently reading and for all my future readers! Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy this and follow it through! Thank you!
> 
> -SomniareSolus


	3. Old Memories

_“Just like old times huh Karisawa?”_

_Her lips curved into a sinister smile. “Old times for you, firestarter!”_

_SLICE! Another one’s head came clean off. Who knew cosplay could be so deadly? She chopped her way through the crowd of LDs. What a weird name, for them. Izaya came up with it since he made such a big deal out of the z word. LDs, short for-_

_“Stop-“ Kadota kicked one of them up against the wall, stabbing the knife straight through its skull, “-messing around you two! This is serious! We have to get back to the van, now!” Togusa had made it to the van and they had to leave before more LDs showed up._

_“Yumacchi go! I got this one!” She dashed towards the snarling monster, swinging and slicing its head clean off._

_“Erika!”_

_She didn’t have time to react when one of the rotting corpses lunged at her. Walker just barely made it, stepping in front of her. Yellow rotted teeth sunk into his arm, as bloody nails latched on to its meal. He cried out in pain and then the body fell to the ground. Kadota stood at the end of that alley with a gun pointed in their direction._

_Walker’s arm hung limp at his side, as the pain was already flaring up. He turned to face the other two with an apologetic smile on his face. They didn’t appear as happy as he did. They were both pale with horrorstricken faces._

_“Y-Yumasaki..I’m sorry but-“_

_“NO!” Erika stepped in front of him as soon as Kadota’s hand flinched. She knew their rules, but she just couldn’t let them kill Walker!_

_“Erika, you know we have to! We don’t have time!”_

_“We’re not leaving him behind!” She felt a hand wrap around her waist and then she was hoisted up on Walker’s shoulder before he sprinted off._

_“Come on Kadota!”_

_Their leader was right behind them and so was another crazy hoard of LDs behind them. Togusa told them where to meet him up since he couldn’t risk getting swarmed either. Their van might be armored but it could only withstand so much damage. They went running towards his location and luckily he drove up closer to them, skidding to a stop and opening the side door for them to get in. Kadota jumped in and Walker forced Erika inside._

_“No! NO!” She latched onto his sleeve, not wanting to leave him behind._

_“Let go.” He spoke calmly._

_“NO! You’re crazy! I’m not leaving you out here!”_

_“Erika!”  
They were all trying to get her to let go. The other two men didn’t want to leave Walker behind, but it would be a lost cause to take him with them. It was too late to save him._

_He opened his eyes to look at her, “Let go.”_

_Hot angry tears were streaming down Erika’s face. She yanked him inside and closed the door. Kadota backed up into the other side of the van and Togusa stepped on it. Soon the hoard of LDs could only be seen from the rearview mirror._

_“Erika, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” It was the pure rage in Walker’s voice that broke the silence, surprising everyone._

_“I wasn’t going to leave you back there!”_

_“We promised each other!”_

_“I don’t care!” She crawled closer to him but he just backed away. She didn’t care if he was bitten, she just couldn’t do it. Who could bring themselves to do that to someone so close._

_The drive back was tense. Walker had secluded himself to a back corner of the van. Kadota on the complete opposite side of him, hand on his gun. Togusa was constantly checking his mirror to see if anything happened. Erika was watching him, but he wouldn’t look back. She could tell that inside he was seething. She didn’t follow up on their promise and he was understandably…upset, about it._

_She wasn’t mad at Kadota for wanting to leave him behind. He had to protect them and that meant having to make some hard choices. Cutting some lives. Kadota volunteered from the beginning, saying that he would take the responsibility if it ever came to it. He didn’t want anyone else to have to go through that. Erika and Walker might have tortured people but Erika was the only one out of the three of them that hasn’t killed anyone. They didn’t want her to go through it, but she promised Walker._

_When they were close enough, Togusa made sure to call in to Izaya to open the garage for them. They parked and went up. Kadota promised to keep an eye on Walker, however the blonde was reluctant to go up. He knew what the reaction would be and it would be best if he just stayed down in the garage._

_The elevator ride up was a very unpleasant one. Togusa and Kadota stood with their backs glued to the one side of the elevator while Walker was standing opposite them. Erika stood in between them, knowing that the other two might try something against Walker._

_“Erika, enough is enough. You know Izaya’s going to be pissed. I’m done, so you have to follow up on your promise to me!” Erika ignored him. They didn’t know if there was a cure or not. There had to be something that could help. Maybe she was being hopeful, but she certainly wasn’t going to give up on his life so easily._

_She had to drag Walker over to Izaya’s apartment door. Kadota walked behind him just in case while Togusa walked ahead and knocked on Izaya’s door. The door opened and they were met with a smile but that soon disappeared._

_“What the HELL do you think you’re doing?! Get him out of here! Are you trying to contaminate this place?!”_

_Erika barged in despite Izaya’s yelling. “Hear me out, there has to be a cure! Shinra and your secretary have been working on it this whole time! Don’t they have something yet?!”_

_Namie descended from the stairs. She saw the wound on Walker’s arm and her eyes widened with fascination. Erika saw that look and she stomped towards her. “You,” she growled, “You have something. I refuse to believe that you don’t have some kind of cure!”_

_The older woman’s expression became stoic again. “If I did, then none of us would be in this situation, would we now?”_

_Erika didn’t buy it. That woman had a knowing look in her eyes. She knew way more than she was letting on and Erika never trusted her. Nor did Izaya really but she was one of the only people that could find a cure, that’s why he kept her. And probably for a good fuck in her opinion. “Why don’t you stop lying to us and give him the damn cure!” She was up close in Namie’s personal space and the other was noticeably uncomfortable with it. The others in the room tensed, not sure if they should intervene and risk getting Erika more riled up then necessary. She could be pretty tough if provoked enough and this was the worst they’ve ever seen her with Namie._

_“Listen here you little brat, I don’t have a cure. And even if I did, I wouldn’t waste it on your pathetic boyfriend.”_

_Erika’s grabbed a handful of Namie’s hair and slammed her against the wall. The older woman struggled but she was never one to get into physical confrontations. “You lying bitch! Nothing you say can be trusted! Now give him the da-“_

_“Erika!” It took Kadota, Togusa, and Izaya to get her off of Namie and hold her down. She thrashed and flailed in their arms trying to grab Namie. Meanwhile the other woman glared daggers at her._

_“Uncivilized, whiny little runt!” Namie spat then looked at the others, “What are you waiting for?! Throw her out! You know the rules! And kill him! Izaya we can’t let him contaminate anything!”_

_The other two held her back while Izaya caught his breath and dusted himself off. He was in charge and they all awaited a decision. “We’re not throwing her out Namie.” Erika was too valuable to get rid of. They needed numbers and she was skilled with weapons. “But Walker, I want you out of here immediately. I’m truly sorry, but you are a liability and now you are no longer welcome here. I’ll let you three take care of it.”_

_“NO! You bastard! You know that bitch has something!” Erika fought against them but they were just too strong. She couldn’t let them do it!_

_“ERIKA STOP!” They all turned their attention to Walker. He usually wasn’t one to yell and so it caught them all by surprise. “Erika, you made me a promise and now is not the time to go back on it..you know it’s too late to save me.”_

_“But Yuma-“_

_“Don’t make me repeat myself.”_

_She was brought back to tears at the heartbreaking truth._

_._

_They stood on the roof of the building. It was pretty sunny today without a single cloud in the sky. It was as if nature was mocking her sorrow. The roof was pretty empty, other than a few boilers outside run by the generator and some unused solar panels if it ever came to that. They usually kept their junk up here but there was one side of the roof that was completely clear. Except for the two delicately wrapped up bodies and the dead flowers that haven’t been changed in quite a while._

_Walker was leaning against the black metal safety bars on the roof. In case Erika didn’t follow up on their promise then he would jump. Erika could see that. Kadota gave her the gun and now here they were._

_She stepped closer to him and his good hand gripped the bar. “Ple-“_

_“Erika. You know there aren’t any other options. I’m done here.” He offered her a gentle half smile. She remembered all the times they were playful with each other and every time they would just joke around. There was no more joking around now. Not when Erika had to do the hardest thing she’s ever been asked to do. “I love you.”_

_He helped her, reaching over and leading her hand upwards to aim the gun straight for his head. Her hand shook but she didn’t even have her finger on the trigger. She whimpered, biting her lip and trying to stop herself from crying so much. She promised him she would do this. They promised each other. He would do the same if their roles were reversed._

_He kept his soft smile, despite the situation. Erika couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. She tried blinking back the tears, but more replaced those. “I-I love you t-too Yuma..Yumacchi .”_

_“Just pull the trigger.”_

Erika woke up wailing. Kadota ran into her room, hurrying to her side and holding her in a tight embrace. She clutched the back of his shirt, crying into his chest. He slowly rocked her back and forth whispering soothing words into her ear and combing his fingers through her hair. He knew what her nightmare was about. It was always the same thing. She told him once and from then on, it was always the same. She didn’t like talking about it, but having someone there for her was enough. 

Kadota couldn’t help but feel guilty every time he had to comfort her. He could have spared her all of this trauma if he would have just killed Walker. She was still having nightmares after 2 years. Which was understandable but she had them all the time. Shinra told them about looking for a specific prescription of sleeping pills but the hospital was a little far and it dangerous around there. Pharmacies didn’t have much anymore since it was all stolen. He really couldn’t think of anything to help her other than this. And he wasn’t going to start pushing her towards getting over the whole thing. This was something that she could take as much time as she needed. 

“Shhh, we’re right here. I got you. I got you.” He kissed her forehead and cradled her in his arms, leaning against the bed frame for support. She easily adjusted, loving the warmth that Kadota gave her. She always felt much better and more comfortable around him. 

“K-kyo…”

“Shh, it’s alright. Just go back to sleep, I got you now.”

It was only about a year ago that he started living with Erika. When they all moved in, they had their own apartment to themselves since there were more than enough for everyone. After the nightmares started she had a hard time staying alone in one big apartment. Kadota filled that void and they shared it, but he had his own room. He would only come in here when she really needed someone. Erika appreciated it more than Kadota would ever know. 

He shifted a bit to get more comfortable and pulled the covers over them, making sure that Erika was nice and snug. He quietly cleared his throat. He always started. 

_“Onna no ko wa fushigi na koto ni,”_ He could feel her snuggle up against his chest. _“Keetai dake ja ikite mekenai…”_

 _“M-Mune…ippai no, ai to..y-yuuki ga…”_ Kadota joined her, finishing that last line, _“Taisetsu na no yo.”_

Now he wasn’t a great singer, but Erika’s voice always made his sound slightly better. Hers was higher and his was deeper. Together their voices were harmonious. The song was girly, but he sang it because the chorus always put her right to sleep. 

_“Purupuru pururin pururin Purupuru pururin purupururin Purupuru pururin pururin.”_

They slowly sang the little tune together until they both knocked out. 

.

.

Izaya happily greeted Kadota that morning, only to receive a fist to his gut. His arms wrapped around his stomach as he groaned in pain. He was warned, but he didn’t think the beating would come so soon. 

“You’re an asshole, you know that? This better be worth it.”

The raven slowly nodded. “C-Come on..in..” Dotachin could still throw a good solid punch. 

“So where are we going?” They sat down at Izaya desk, rolling out a few maps. Most of them were from the train station but they were pretty useful for finding safer paths through the city. 

It took him a minute to get his voice under control. Inside he was cursing Kadota for being much stronger than he was. Reminds him of a certain monster but at least Shizuo could never really land a hit. Back to the task at hand. “We’ll be going to Ikebukuro.”

“That’s Awakusu territory. I don’t feel like going through more trouble today.”

“They won’t give us trouble. We’re just looking around. And we’ll be going through some of the warehouses looking for stashes.”

“What if those stashes belong to Awakusu already?”

Drugs and alcohol were very valuable right now. Izaya had his own stash of alcohol for those rough days. He wasn’t really into drugs, so he sold those when he found them. And that’s exactly what he would be looking for in Ikebukuro. 

“They won’t. They don’t know where the Yellow Scarves used to meet up. We do.” He really was a little annoyed with himself for not thinking about this sooner, but they really didn’t need things like that until now. Those warehouses were always locked up so the odds of any LDs being in there was very unlikely. Usually they tried to force themselves inside buildings but even those things knew when to give up. 

“The Yellow Scarves? You think they would still have all those drugs back there?”

He shrugged, “It couldn’t hurt to look.”

Kadota sighed. If they did find drugs here, how was Izaya so sure that the Awakusu would want them? Sure they might be a good stress reliever but it’s not like it was one of the essentials. The Awakusu would want technology, food, water, supplies that were essential in survival and things that they could use to their advantage. When Izaya first introduced them to Saitou, they worked out a deal, as a small thanks, but all they got were slightly larger rations of gasoline. It wasn’t a fair deal in Kadota’s opinion but hey, it was something. 

“And what else besides drugs would we be looking for? Weapons? Storage? The Awakusu is going to want more than just that.” He looked down at the specific areas that Izaya circled on the maps and frowned. Those would be the locations they would be looking. Some of those areas were far away. They couldn’t possibly walk that kind of distance. 

“I know, which is why we will also be looking for vehicles too. They would definitely like to have some of those.”

“Are you crazy? How are we going to haul a car over to them? We’re not going to be using out own gas to do that. And you think they’re going to meet with us again?”

“I don’t know but..” He ran a hand through his hair, “what else can we look for?”

He didn’t even know. What was valuable enough to the Awakusu that they could find out in the streets? They really couldn’t travel that far as it was too dangerous. Who knew what was out there?

“We’ll just see how this goes then, but I’m really tired of this…I’m gonna go get Erika and Togusa.” He stood to leave but Izaya stopped him.

“Wait. Kadota there’s something really important that we need to discuss.” 

He turned back to face Izaya and he could tell that this was something serious, just by the look on his face. He pulled the chair out and sat back down, waiting for Izaya to continue. Izaya relaxed a little but he was still tense about something.

“A while back, when I was asked to accompany Shiki-san back to the Awakusu HQ..I spoke directly with the big boss. He had an offer for us…a third of their supply of gasoline.”

Kadota’s eyes widened. “Why the hell didn’t you take it?!” 

“I wasn’t done!” He sighed. “In return, we would trade..Shinra.” 

That made him lean back against his chair, a little surprised and at the same time, disgusted. 

“They wanted Shinra for that much gasoline. They would always call Shinra for help before, but now they want him. Shiki has told me that the big boss is getting impatient and that he wants a doctor for his men. They asked me for Namie at one point but even I’m not that heartless. He was willing to bargain before but now, there’s a possibility he might come here and take Shinra, not to mention all of our supplies…and if we put up any kind of fight, they’ll slaughter us..” 

Shiki had to make an example of him yesterday because he couldn’t let his men know that he was letting Izaya go easy, or that he was trying to help them. 

It was a lot to take in for Kadota. He was angry at Izaya for keeping this from them, but he could understand why he did it. It would only worry everyone and they were already pretty separated. What would this kind of information do to them?

“I’ve been trying to find a way to get us out of here. Or a safe place to go…this is a matter of time. If we don’t get them what they want then we’ll have to leave to protect ourselves. Kadota, I know I’m asking for a lot, but I need your help.”

There was no room for question anymore. Their lives, their safety, it was all at stake. “We’ll do it.”

Izaya sighed in relief, “Good, but not a word of this to anyone.”

.

.

.

They were out on the streets again, heading to the first red circle on the map. The Yellow Scarves had their specific location but there were others that Izaya knew of. He’s had all this information on his computer for a while. Sure he could use his computer for saving files and keeping information, the unfortunate part was that he couldn’t use the internet. That stopped working quite some time ago. 

The group was in their usual formation and keeping to the back alleys as usual. They sometimes took the rooftops, but some were just too far apart for everyone to make it. Not everyone was as experienced in parkour as Izaya was. 

They were pretty close to their first stop and so far they haven’t run into many problems. Only a few LDs here and there. They almost ran into a giant hoard but they dodged that bullet and went a different way. The subway would get them anywhere faster but it was always crowded down there and they weren’t going to walk into their death anytime soon. 

When they finally found it, Togusa stayed outside to keep watch while the other three investigated through the warehouse. There were bloody handprints and marks all over the giant metal doors and even on the broken windows. They would have to proceed with caution. Inside they were quiet and stealthy as always. They found an LD lurking in the back, but Izaya stabbed it straight through its skull before it could even lunge at him. 

“Young one this time.” They were a teenager when they died. No specific colors that stood out to him so this one couldn’t have been part of a color gang. Her clothes had dried bloody stains and a few tears. They were multiple bite wounds on her, with chunks of flesh completely gone. Her skin was dirty, pale, and rotting. Oh well, who knew when she died, it wasn’t his problem anymore.

Izaya knew the best locations to look and luckily they did find some powder. Not much though, only about two and half pounds. This was nothing and completely unacceptable. They searched every inch of this place but they didn’t find anymore. 

“Looks like some of the past members came back for this stuff.” They must have raided the place when everything went downhill.

“There are still other places to look. And their might not be any cars here but I’m sure we can find a working one somewhere.” 

The problem with a lot of the vehicles left on the streets was that they were usually contaminated or they were busted up. In the hype, people got into many accidents and ended up..dying. Finding a functional car in good condition was rare. It was difficult to find an untouched car. The LDs got smart and started searching those. 

Next stop, again, not much success. A few more LDs on the way, and more coming. They had to lose them or they would all start following them. Erika threw one of her Molotovs a good distance in the opposite direction from where they were going. It would set those monsters on fire and attract them to the commotion, keeping them away from the group. 

They didn’t find any drugs or anything valuable really. Location after location and there wasn’t much to show for it. They did however find a motorcycle. It brought back nostalgic memories. Celty had been long gone but she would be back someday. 

He remembered the day he gave her, her head back. It was awakened when the LDs started taking over. He tried speaking to it, hoping that it would take him to Valhalla but it looked angry. It demanded to be returned to its body and he thought that maybe if he did, it would grant his wish. Unfortunately he was so caught up in his desires that his plan backfired, horribly. Celty had her head back and almost killed him, if it wasn’t for Shinra begging her not to leave. She had no choice though. She said she had a duty to find a solution to the world’s problem and destroy the LDs. They were immune to Celty’s powers since she collected souls and they were just empty corpses. It was then they realized that it couldn’t be magic but something else. A manmade virus, that’s as much as Shinra could predict. Celty left because the others were awakened as well and magic or not, they had to help with this problem. 

Shinra hated Izaya for a while, but the safest place he could find was Izaya’s place. The others joined him later on when they didn’t have anywhere else to go. Namie, for some reason, also stayed. 

He shook off the memories and got back to the motorcycle. Togusa could hotwire it and see if it still worked. It was dusty and had some cobwebs but that was about it. It looked pretty good, and it would be much easier to transport than a car. Sure it wasn’t as safe as a car, but it was still something. 

“I don’t know about you Izaya but I say we take it. We can just test it out to see if it works and then maybe it will be something worth trading.” Kadota looked a little happy with their find. Erika wiped a layer of dust off with her finger and revealed the red paint. Still pretty bright. 

“Alright, but we might as well go home with this stuff now. We’ve come out far enough.” They didn’t want to test their luck and be out too long. It was still dangerous and they had to return to the city over. 

They heard a quick urgent knock on the front metal doors. Togusa! Erika grabbed onto the handles and pulled it along as Izaya and Kadota hurried on outside. They found a group of about fifteen LDs, probably a bit more. They were still pretty far off and it didn’t seem like they had been spotted yet but they couldn’t take that chance. They seemed to be following something if they weren’t paying attention to their group. Izaya motioned for them to take another exit and they all nodded in agreement. 

The raven stayed back with Erika, helping her push it along while the other two kept an eye out for any LDs. It was clear so far so they kept going. The street on this side was empty so they crossed, just following the back alleys. At least now they could head back straight to Shinjuku. They would stop every time they heard any strange noises. Usually it was shuffling, but it was further away. Even an occasional groan or hiss could be heard. 

Kadota had to kill a few that had spotted them but it wasn’t much. Their main goal was getting the motorcycle. Erika and Togusa didn’t understand the gravity of their situation but Kadota had told them that this was important. They trusted him and that’s why they were so compliant on helping out. 

They made it to the train station but there was a hoard close buy so they had to take a bit of a longer route. There were other open streets they could take, but right now they all wanted to get home as soon as possible. 

Togusa made sure it was clear before motioning them to follow. This was a little tense. Every little noise made him flinch. Anything could pop out at them and that’s what scared him most. One scratch was enough to infect someone. They couldn’t take that kind of chance or afford to lose anyone, not now. 

They were following a city map. It was a map of the train routes but it showed them the streets as well. The fastest way back home was a right two blocks from here and then straight ahead from there for about a mile. 

“We have a few stragglers.” Kadota told them to go ahead and he would take care of these. Togusa led them from their, keeping an eye out for anymore. He checked the corner before they crossed the street and quickly backed away, motioning for them to head back. Izaya and Erika back tracked while Kadota was catching up to them. 

‘What?’ He mouthed to Togusa. The latter’s expression seemed to show it all as he flashed them the signal, his hand ‘cutting’ through his neck, as a sign of death. Right when he did, a few LDs from around that corner spotted them and went straight for the fresh meat. 

The group changed direction and hurried away as more and more LDs came after them. There must have at least been 200 of those things. Even with a group of four, they couldn’t handle that on their own. They had to hide and fast!

The groans and hissing noises started getting closer. Izaya didn’t want to let go of the motorcycle. They came too far for this thing, they weren’t just going to leave it! Kadota led them into the back alleys once again. “Izaya leave the bike here, we’ll get it when they’re gone.” He whispered as he jumped up on a dumpster and reached for the fire escape, pulling it down for them to climb up on. They left the bike propped up against the wall and climbed up on the fire escape. The adrenalin rush made them go up faster. 

Izaya kicked one of the windows in, having his knife ready. The others followed in after him. The apartment was quiet for now. The four spread out and searched the apartment for any LDs, or any humans. The living room was clear, so was the bathroom and the kitchen.  
Erika checked the bedrooms and froze. The window was open and there were blood stains on the wall on the body. If these were ordinary circumstances, she would have jammed her swords straight through his head..but this was different. 

“Erika? Did you fi-“

There was a gun in his hand. The skin still had a bit of a warm tint to it, meaning that he was still alive. Those signature clothes were proof enough. 

“Shizuo..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry I've been late again. I've got a lot of things going on. School starts in August and books are so damn expensive! Sorry about the delay but I will try my best to make them good chapters if they are going to be taking this long. I hope you will stick with me to the end! (whenever that may be) 
> 
> Here's another one and the next one will definitely be a lot more fun! Until then! I hope you like it and sorry again for being so late about it (also any grammatical errors..sorry!)
> 
> S.S. 
> 
> ps: Anyone know the song Dotachin and Erika sang?~


	4. Plus One Minus One

_“Catch me if you can, Shizu-chan!~” He practically sang as he danced around the monster, gracefully dodging all the possible projectiles that Shizuo could managed to throw at him._

_His name was heard roaring throughout the city in the booming voice that could only be Shizuo Heiwajima’s. People avoided their fights, rolled their eyes at the duo’s daily shenanigans, or continued on with their lives as this was the norm._

_Then there were certain people who would take interest in these daily chases and street fights. The Dollars frantically posting about the latest news. Others were ready to challenge Shizuo Heiwajima but knew that it was better not to interfere in their chase._

_“Come back here you little flea!” Shizuo launched the nearest mailbox at Izaya but instead of hitting it’s intended target, it crashed into the side of a small café. Very close to going through the window. "I'm gonna wring your skinny little neck!"_

_“You’ll have to be faster than that brute!” Izaya loved The wind rushing through his hair, this feeling of freedom, and most of all the feeling he got from running away. From being chased. He wasn’t safe, he was never safe, not when being chased by Shizuo. But even knowing that, he never backed down._

_“IZAAAAYAAAA!!!”_

“Izaya! Izaya!” 

“Huh?” Izaya was brought back from his memories. Shizuo was still there, bloody and unconscious. He didn’t know what came over him. One minute he’s running halfway through the city and the next thing he knows, he’s back here. 

“Are you alright?” Kadota didn’t like the look on his face. He was pale and looked about ready to puke. 

“I’m fine. What..what’s he doing here?”

Kadota shrugged, “Heck if I know. We searched him though and he doesn’t have any scratches or bites, just four bullet wounds. I’d say I’m surprised he’s alive but…it’s Shizuo.” He was still in a bit of shock that they found their old friend.

“We’re leaving him.” The raven wasn't going to risk this one. There was no way they were going to take Shizuo with them. 

“Are you crazy?! Izaya, we can’t just leave him here!” Togusa glared at him. “He’s tough, he can help us out, and we trust him!” 

“Yeah, well I don’t. You think he’ll just accept living back at the building with me there? No. We’re leaving him. We came to find valuables, not recruit.” He narrowed his eyes at Togusa. Kadota may be in charge out here but Izaya still held the final word on who and what came back with them.

Kadota sighed, stepping closer to Izaya. “He is valuable. Don’t you see it? If Awakusu proves to be a problem..then we’re going to need all the muscle we can get. You two are the last people I’d want in the same building, and in these times that’s just asking for us to get massacred.. We are all going to need you two to put this shit aside and learn to get along. We need him. Think about Shinra.” He whispered that last part.

Izaya hated to admit that Kadota was right, and he himself was thinking the same thing. He trusted Kadota, but not Shizuo. At the reminder of Shinra, he thought about something much more valuable than a bike. They wanted Shinra because he had built himself a great reputation with them, but what if he handed over Shizuo? He would be quite the asset for them. Unfortunately, knowing the beast, it wouldn’t be something that he would willingly do. He sighed, already knowing the answer to this problem. “Fine, we’ll take him. Erika, Togusa, you two are taking the monster back with us. I’ll cover you guys. Kadota, you’ll lead the way.”

He nodded, though it didn’t look like they would be getting out of this one anytime soon. “The best we can do for now is keep quiet and try to find a way out of here without getting noticed.”

“We can take the rooftops until we get closer to a main road. If we find a ladder or something, it shouldn’t be that hard to get across.” Togusa suggested. “The buildings aren’t that far apart, and we will be carrying him, so it’ll make it easier on us.” It was only until they got back on a main road anyway.

“Alright. Erika, watch over him.” She nodded. “Togusa, we’ll look around the rest of the building. See if we can find a ladder or something sturdy enough to get across. Izaya, keep watch.” The two left Erika and Izaya to look for a ladder. 

The raven scowled at Shizuo’s unconscious form. He still couldn’t believe that he would have to put up with this beast in the comfort of his own home. Well building, but it was still his home. 

He moved the curtains enough to peek out onto the smaller streets and alleys surrounding the building. LDs were shuffling about, but more and more were grouping around here. He hated the damn things. They only followed others around looking for their next source of food. Insatiable creatures. They had no will, no fear, no anything. Their sole purpose was to consume. He spit on the floor and walked away from the window. 

Even Shizuo’s monstrosity seem like nothing compared to them.. No, Shizuo was nothing like them. Shizuo was a monster, but not like them.

“Erika, any signs of him waking up?” He walked back to the room he had left them in. 

She shook her head in response. Erika just sat there observing him. Even after all this time, Shizuo kept his same old clothes, and though his hair wasn’t exactly blonde, it was still light colored. The brown roots were showing though and it was longer too. He must have still found a way to bleach it. Shizuo was never a bulging mass of muscle, but he was thinner than she remembered, and paler too. He had dark bags under his eyes and a few cuts on his face. 

Her hand gently touched his face as if wanting to assure that this was really there. “Shizuo..” She softly whispered, pulling her hand away.   
Izaya was a bit surprised seeing any reaction from her, but it still pissed him off to no end. After all this time, and without even having to be conscious, Shizuo has still managed to draw people in. It was something the raven had always hated about him. “I wouldn’t touch him. Who knows what kind of contagions he could be carrying.” 

And almost as if a switch had been flipped, Izaya felt like he was back all those years ago. Taunting Shizuo. It made him feel normal in the strangest way. 

Erika gave him a look but said nothing more as she continued to watch over Shizuo.

He sighed, deciding to further investigate the apartment while they were here. Pictures were gone, but what was left was enough to tell him that it had most likely been inhabited by a young couple. Only two rooms but one was the master bedroom and the other was probably just a guest room used for storage as well. Nothing of use really. No canned goods or water either. These people just up and left. Everything seemed to be left in place with some items moved or slightly shifted from their original place. A thick layer of dust covered their surroundings. No one has been here for quite some time.

The most interesting of his discoveries was the front door that had been carelessly busted in. It was barely hanging on the hinges. Shizuo’s handiwork, but something about it didn’t make sense. Why was it still attached? Did Shizuo mean to only open it or did he possible hold back? It didn’t seem likely. Knowing the blond beast, he probably would have sent the door flying through the wall. 

Perhaps Shizuo was losing his touch? What a sight that would be. Even so, Izaya didn’t intend to let him off easy. He wouldn’t be so reckless as to take their, disputes, outside where they were vulnerable. And he certainly wouldn’t want any damage done to their building or the supplies they had inside. He’d have fun figuring this one out. He enjoyed a good game, and now his rival had just been thrown back into the arena.

He heard a distinct whistle from outside. A long sound followed by three shorter ones. It was one of their secret whistles, something that had to be decided for communication and emergency situations. They must be upstairs, signaling for them to come up. “I’m not picking him up.” He told Erika as he walked over to the front door to check the halls. Togusa should being coming down to help with Shizuo. They were on the second floor so it was only two more to get to the roof. 

He heard footsteps trudging down the stairs and in came the man he was waiting for. “Go meet up with Kadota. We’ll take Shizuo from here. He already contacted Namie to have Shinra ready to treat him.” He hurried inside to help Erika with Shizuo. 

Izaya was already making his way up the stairs, knife prepared just in case someone or something threatened him. They might have cleared the apartment but no the building. 

Kadota was waiting for him up on the roof, with some rope hanging off his shoulder. “Weren’t you going to get a ladder?”

“We couldn’t find one and it probably would have been a much bigger hassle to carry around. We’re a few blocks away from the main road so whatever makes it easier.”

He was right about that. Lugging around a heavy ladder wasn’t going to get them far, fast enough. “So then what’s the new game plan?”

“I’ll be carrying Shizuo.” Seeing the skeptical look from Izaya drew a sigh from him. “Just trust me, when they get up here, I’ll show you. But for now, I need you to get across.” He pointed to the other rooftop.

Izaya eyeballed the distance. It was close enough for him to make it safely across. If anything this was just more practice for him. “All right.” He stepped back and ran straight ahead, jumping off the ledge of the building and boosting himself up. The momentum got him close enough to reach the window from the opposite building. Once his foot hit the windowsill, he bounced up and hoisted himself up onto the roof. “Simple enough.” He gave Kadota the heads up.

“Catch.” He tossed the end of the rope to Izaya. “Make sure you have a secure hold.”

The raven twisted it around his wrist and then his knuckles until he was sure he could keep a firm grip. “I got it.”

“Good. Erika will be going first, then Saburo, and then me and Shizuo. Oh and take a few steps back, it's not that high up here.”

Following orders, Izaya took a few steps back. He left some slack too, knowing what Kadota had in mind.

“Kadota.” Togusa called him from the stairs to help with Shizuo. He held his end of the rope down with a cinder block and helped them settle the blond down on the roof. “He’s pretty heavy, are we going to manage?”

“I’ll be taking him from here. Erika,” He put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re going first. Swing across and Izaya’s gonna pull you up.” 

She silently nodded, walking over to grab the end of the rope. This was one of those rare moments she thanked Izaya for his choice of gear. If they didn’t have gloves, then this wouldn’t be very pleasant for any of them. She stepped over to the ledge, glad that there were no LDs below them. The distance wasn’t that far from these two buildings and thankfully it wasn’t for the rest. She swung across and kicked off the opposite wall to slow her down. While Izaya hauled her up, she climbed the rest of the way.

Togusa followed right after her, and tossed the end of the rope right back to Kadota. “So now how are you two getting across?” Shizuo seemed thinner but he was still a heavy guy. 

Kadota sat on the ledge and had to tie the rope around his waist. Despite how uncomfortable it was, it was the only way he could think to get them both across without Shizuo getting hurt. With one hand holding the rope and the other arm holding onto Shizuo, he swung across and like the others, kicked off the wall. He had to let go of the rope to get a better hold on Shizuo. 

The other three held onto the rope and pulled. Two was much heavier than one but they managed to get them up on the roof.

“Not gonna lie, that wasn’t very pleasant.” Kadota winced, untying the rope from his waist. It would probably bruise after having to do this more than once. 

*

They walked along the main street, only ducking under the cover of smaller alleys and passages when necessary. Kadota and Togusa had been dragging Shizuo since they left those apartment buildings behind. Izaya was head of the group now with Erika following close behind. 

They didn’t want her in the back, and Kadota insisted that he could guard their back. 

He held his hand up for them to hold position as he peeked around the corner, before quickly planting his back against the wall. ‘Go.’ He mouthed, telling them to go back. There were too many of them and they didn’t have time. They were losing daylight, and they knew better than to stay out after dark. 

They went back the other way but Erika held them back. “There are more..” She whispered. 

Izaya was immediately back to the front, leading them further down the alley but at every turn he kept seeing more and more LDs. 

A backdoor was thrown open as multiple LDs came shuffling out. Hearing the commotion, others filled in and went after the only living flesh they could see. 

Erika pulled out a can of spray paint. Attached to it was a silver lighter, with the One Piece logo and Jolly Roger etched on. With a click of the lighter, a little flame flickered to life, directly in front of the nozzle. She pressed down on the nozzle and lit up the corpses as they closed in. A wall of fire surrounded them now, but that didn’t stop the LDs from pursuing them.

Izaya sliced off heads left and right. Long, sharp blades pierced through the rotten skulls before their mangled bodies collapsed. He cleared the path for them to keep moving forward. “Go!”

“Take Shizuo!” Kadota handed him over to Erika and joined the raven, swinging his bat to knock them away. “I’ll watch the back, just go! Don’t stop for anything!” 

Izaya nodded and led them away but he could hear Kadota struggling behind them as they got further and further away.

“Izaya! We can’t leave him!” Erika hissed, not budging from her spot. She was not about to lose another one! 

“We have no choice. We were surrounded back there and unless we make it back now, we won’t be safe. Kadota will be fine, you know him.” There was no time for reasoning with her right now. He knew this had to be hard on her but if they waited around for him, then they would only be putting themselves in danger.

“He’s right Erika..we know that he’ll be fine on his own.” Togusa didn’t like this either but they’ve known each other for too long. He trusted Kadota to come back safely. They were both more afraid of what Erika would do to them if they didn’t wait. 

“We are not leaving him.” She growled. 

Togusa didn’t want to do this but he really didn’t have much of a choice. He carefully propped up Shizuo against a dumpster and grabbed Erika in a choke hold. He never intended to be rough with her but they weren’t going to get anywhere like this. She kicked and flailed in his arms but eventually he knocked her out. “Not a word of this to Kadota when he gets back. You’re taking her, and I’ll take Shizuo.”

Izaya agreed but now they had two indisposed people. They would have to make it back fast with as little confrontation as possible.

*

_“What took you guys so long? It’s dusk. Why are those two unconscious?”_

“Namie, this isn’t the time. We’re near the garage entrance so make sure you open up on my cue.”

_“Fine, fine. I counted seven of them. Can you two manage?”_

“We’ll handle it.” He tossed the walkie in his backpack, and left Erika there with them. “You watch them, I’ll clear the entrance.” 

Seven on one would be no big deal if they were human. LDs felt no pain or fear. He could slice them up as much as he wanted, but unless he went for the head, they wouldn’t go down. That’s what made it difficult about going up against more than one. He had to be quick, or he could get overwhelmed. 

As soon as he made his presence known, they all went for him. Their main advantage was numbers, but against seven, Izaya had speed and deadly precision on his side. He took them all down easily enough, and left to get back to the others. He barely caught the straggler trying to sneak up on him. This one was fresh. Its skin hasn’t rotted yet, but it was sickly pale. 

He charged at it, stabbing it straight between its eyes. What he didn’t expect was for it spit blood all over him. It gurgled and spluttered as the thick maroon liquid poured out of its mouth and all over Izaya’s front. He narrowly missed getting it on his face but now it was all over his clothes. 

Quicker than he had ever changed, he shed his jacket, shirt, and gloves. They were left in a heap along with the rest of the corpses.   
His breath quickened, and his heart raced. He kept staring down at his chest, looking for any specks of blood. Any scratches, bites, any red marks that shouldn’t be there. He didn’t know how long he was frozen there for, but the next thing he knew, Shinra was standing in front of him. He was shaking him, or was Izaya shaking? 

He couldn’t even make out what Shinra was saying to him, but his expression looked urgent. Then a harsh sting on his cheek and Namie was there. They dragged him inside where they met up with the other three. Togusa didn’t look too happy to see him and Erika was barely waking up. The mop of blond hair was still, just as they found him. Kadota was nowhere in sight. 

_Izaya._

_Izaya!_

“Izaya! Wake up! Where’s Kadota? And where in the hell did you guys find Heiwajima? Izaya!”

He stared at her blankly, wondering how long he blacked out. They were in the garage, so thankfully they were safe. That put him a bit at ease but his mind was still in panic mode. He felt disgusting. He wanted a shower but no matter how much he scrubbed his skin raw, he knew it would be futile. He was infected. He could feel his skin absorb the blood. He could feel the virus attacking him from the inside. His own body felt foreign to him.

“He’s not responding. His clothes were right there, but it was all covered in blood.”

“There’s nothing on him, he’s fine. He killed them all. Izaya, stop being a baby and snap out of this shit!” 

“Okay just leave him here for now, we have to take care of Shizuo. He’s badly hurt. How are we going to do this? Togusa, can you he-”

“YOU LEFT HIM OUT THERE!”

“Oh great, the little runt is awake. We have enough problems as it is!” 

“Izaya? Hey you feeling alright? I-Izaya..?”

*

_“He’ll be fine, he probably just had a panic attack out there. There’s no blood on him, so that’s good.”_

_“He’s going to be pissy tomorrow but he better explain what went on.”_

_“Yeah.. I don’t know how they found Shizuo, and I’m really worried about Kadota. Hopefully he makes it back.”_

_“I’m not going to be up all night watching for him.”_

_“I know..we’ll watch for him tomorrow. At least everyone else is okay. Shizuo is stable and with a few antibiotics, the infection should go away.”_

_“Infection..I wonder if the virus would affect him.”_

_“We are NOT testing it out on him!”_

_“A blood sample would suffice.”_

_“Good luck getting that out of him. Since I’ve known him, he’s been pretty adamant about testing of any kind. I recall always getting hit or threatened for even asking.”_

_“Well, he is unconscious now..we don’t have to ask. Just a pint of blood. He won’t miss it.”_

_“No. Absolutely not.. Shizuo may be strong, but I just know… Even if he was immune to it..just no. We can’t do that I refuse to.”_

_“We should at least try to get something out of him! He’s unique. A one of a kind specimen. Kishitani, what if we’re passing up the chance to discover a cure? He could be our only chance and you don’t want to do it because he’s your friend?”_

_“That’s not it! I won’t do it and that’s all I have to say about it. He’s a person, not some guinea pig.”_

_“That’s fresh, coming from you of all people.”_

_“I’ve had a lot of time to think over these kind of things. He’s only human, I won’t treat him that way.”_

_“It’s because of Celty, isn’t it? She’s NOT human.”_

_“No, she’s not..but she’s more human than you give her credit for. She’s just like Shizuo in the sense that you only see her as another experiment. I don’t know why Izaya keeps you around, but he won’t let you do anything to Shizuo.”_

_“Now you’re just spewing nonsense. It has been quite some time, but you’ve known them longer. Izaya won’t give a damn about him.”_

_“He’s not like he was back then. They brought him back, that’s saying something.”_

_“Whatever you say. I think I know Izaya better than that. He hates Shizuo. Nothing has changed Shinra.”_

_“You’re the one who doesn’t know him. Everything’s changed..”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo's back! But not exactly back. Izaya's still going through shit. The van squad is getting separated. And Namie and Shinra are...yeah. I know this chapter is kinda uneventful but at some points there will be a slow build in the plot as well as relationships. *hint hin, wink wink, Shizaya*
> 
> I am so terribly sorry for this update being so incredibly late and any grammatical errors. I hate making excuses but last semester really got me. Word of advice or freshmen in college. 5 or more classes per semester is a lot! Especially for animators in the making! Be sure that you're ready for it! Kudos to honors students who can manage that! I salute you!
> 
> Clay animation takes so long but overall I was proud of all my work last semester. I've toned it down to 3 classes this semester since I'm still unfortunately job hunting T-T
> 
> I will be trying my hardest to update much more frequently and longer chapters too! This one isn't as long as I wanted it to be but only because I'm planning on making the others longer.
> 
> I really can't apologize enough and I hope you'll forgive me and continue to follow along! 
> 
> ~S.S.


	5. Knowing

“It’s been going on long enough, yeah? Won’t be long until the boss kicks the bucket. The young Miss isn’t going to let up on this, Shiki.” He downed the small glass of whiskey, eyeing the other executive. 

The raven haired man, leaned back against the couch. “You think I don’t already know? It’s a lost cause, but no one is going to tell her that. She still thinks he can be saved. After her father ‘left,’ she’s been closer with the old man.”

“She wants his experience. She wants to be a great leader like him. So much that she’s afraid of losing him.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Never thought the young miss would actually want to follow in our footsteps.”

“I don’t think that was ever her intention. If she’s trying so hard to save the old man, then she must still believe that he has a chance at recovering, and maybe ‘taking’ his place back.” He sighed, crossing one leg over the other.

“Hm. And what happens when she orders us to get the younger Kishitani, by force. It’s only a matter of time.”

“That one is tricky. Big boss made it clear with us, but the young miss.. I’m sure she’ll leave that job to you.” Akabayashi smirked. “You can’t protect him forever, you know, but that was a good show you put on. I heard a few of them talking about it. The great Shiki-sama still has it in him.”

“I’m older, not senile.” Shiki ran his fingers through his hair. Short strands of grey were showing but it could be waved off as a trick of the light. “And I’m not trying to protect him. I warned him. If the time comes, then he’ll have to leave. He knows that and he’s probably already preparing for that possibility.”

“And who’s going to be there to help him pack?” He raised an eyebrow, only getting an irritated scowl in response. “Not saying it’s a bad thing, but your responsibility lies here. You’ll be sending the kid off with everything, leaving you with nothing in return. And what happens to you when the young miss finds out? She’ll want your head on a platter.”

“I’m counting on our boss to pardon me.” Though if Dougen passed before that time, then it would be extremely troublesome for him.

“Seems like you’ve got it all planned out. When was the last time you’ve been over there? You know, on business with _Kishitani_.” The Red Demon smirked. 

“About a year and a half.. but I can’t go back without the young miss expecting Kishitani to return with me. I already told him what the young miss wants. Knowing him, he’s already out there, but also planning his getaway.”

“You say that like you want to go with him.”

“I won’t. You know that.” Shiki gave him a look, before he pulled out a cigarette and his lighter, flicking it a few times to light up. “I can’t say what will happen, but I’ll follow through with what Dougen wants.”

The Red Demon nodded in agreement. “I can’t promise to stick my neck out for you. But if you do go through with it, then you better make sure it works.” Because something told him this wasn’t going to work.

 

.

 

He slowly blinked, taking in his surroundings. Flickering fluorescent lights, grey ceiling and walls and the same tasteless furniture that Celty and Shinra had picked out so long ago. Shinra’s place. The first thing he did was throw the blankets off. It looked clean and smelled sterile, but he still needed a shower. He just wasn’t in the mood to deal with Shinra right now or whoever decided to walk in and annoy him. 

The mirror was thankfully big enough for him to thoroughly inspect his body as he stripped down. No splotches or faded stains on his skin. Still no scratches or bites. He was paranoid to the point where it was odd not to have any marks on his skin. Other than the one healing cut on his back. 

As soon as he stepped into the warm spray of water, he bowed his head, watching as a steady stream poured down the tips of his hair. His back stung, but only a bit. Wherever this soap came from, it smelled too plain. Of course Shinra would use this. He scrubbed his body clean, repeating the process over and over again. His skin was raw, slightly tingling from the warm water. He did the same with the shampoo even though his hair wasn’t dirty, perhaps a bit oily though. He might be paranoid about yesterday, but he wasn’t going to risk anything.

Up until he got out of the shower, he thought he had been alone in that room but he was sorely mistaken. Maybe he closed the door and opened it up again a few more times, just to check. Unfortunately, the bed next to his _was_ occupied. 

“Izaya you were already clean! Look at you, your skin is all red!” And suddenly his arms were spread out and he was turned round and round for further inspection. “That better be from the temperature not from scrubbing.” The doctor complained.

“Shut up. What is he doing here?” He sat on his own bed, towel drying his hair as he watched the blonde.

“You guys brought him here, remember?” He sat behind him pulling out a fresh roll of gauze bandages. “Well I honestly don’t expect you to remember, you were kinda out of it yesterday. It’s a good thing you took off your clothes when you did, it was completely soaked through. But we did manage to get more blood to experiment on. Pretty fresh too! So that’s a plus for us. Shizuo on the other hand, not so lucky. Did you see how many-“

“Shinra! Shut up.” He sighed, holding his arms up for the doctor to finish.

“But you asked!” He whined, but let it go after getting a dirty look from the raven. “Namie was right, you are pissy this afternoon.”

“Afternoon?” The nausea had returned. What if he did get infected? What else could explain him sleeping for so long? “How long was I out? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

He stopped, pouting at Izaya. “Hey I tried to wake you up! But you slept like a rock last night. I think it was the panic attack. We went over what to do when you get them! It worked last time! You can’t just freeze up like that, Izaya. Not out there. If Namie hadn’t been watching the cameras we would have never known there was something up with you.”

“You say that as if I was lucky she was doing her job. Are you telling me she slacks off when I’m not here?” His eyes narrowed.

Shinra scratched the back of his head nervously. “N-No..that’s not what I was saying at all! It’s just that sometimes she may not be as attentive.”

He shook his head, pulling down his shirt and getting up, “I don’t want to hear this, I’ll talk to her later. Despite my long night, I feel exhausted. I’ll be heading home now.”

“What about Shizuo?” he gestured to the blonde, well sorta blonde.

“What about him?” He raised an eyebrow.

The doctor shifted uncomfortably, “Well, you did bring him back here. I can only assume he’s joining the ranks. We’ll need to get him settled in his own apartment, definitely some clean clothes. I could smell him from out there. And-”

“Not happening. I did it to get them off my back. Once you’re done with him, you can dump him on the streets where we found him.” He waved him off.

“But Izaya, he’s our friend! And he could offer some serious help. And don’t play dumb, I know you wouldn’t have agreed to bringing him here, so easily. If you were really against him you would have left him. You know we could use him and maybe he won’t listen to you but we can all convince him to help. He’ll listen to us.” 

“I have no doubts you can all tame that beast, but no matter what I do, he will never accept me. Figure out what to do with him. I really don’t care enough right now.” He left the room, rubbing his temples. 

He remembered what happened yesterday and even if it wasn’t the first time that Shinra, or anyone here, has witnessed it, it was humiliating. He wasn’t supposed to show weakness like that. A panic attack, and worse, it happened out there. Shinra had made a extremely valuable point. He couldn’t let that happen to him out there. One moment of weakness out there could cost him his life. Izaya had to get it together. What happened yesterday, absolutely could not be repeated.

Namie caught him in the hall, “You look like crap, but then again that’s every day.”

“How kind of you to grace me with your always haggard appearance Namie. I can assure you it isn’t every day that I look like this. Today is more like the hangover after last night’s fun.” He indulged her inane banter. “Before I retreat to my quarters, I’d like to remind you to do your job.” She rolled her eyes in response but he smiled, “I’ve received an anonymous tip, that you may not be working to your potential. I hear the Awakusu is looking for a doctor if that catches your fancy. I’d be glad to inform Shiki-san of-“

“Alright, I get it asshole! I was trying to find out more about Shingen’s whereabouts. I was sure that would peak your interest but you were too busy spazzing out yesterday.”

“How successful were you in your attempt to locate Shingen? Not so much, I’m guessing.”

“Shut it. I heard he may have left the country. To Russia. How he got there though, that’s the golden question.”

“He obviously has connections and creep friends like you.”

“Why do I bother talking to you right now? Come talk to me when you’re not on your period.” She pushed past him.

“By the way, you’re supposed to be keeping an eye out for Dota-chin.” He called out, receiving a frustrated groan in response. He just wanted some sleep. Maybe something to eat too.

 

.

 

_**“The NX-2 virus has been report to be extremely contagious and lethal. Symptoms may include, fever, bleeding of orifices, violent or aggressive behavior…”**_

_**“Hospitals, clinics, and medical centers all across Tokyo have been flooded with patients. It has been determined that the virus is spread through bodily fluids, so citizens are encouraged to keep physical contact to a minimum.”** _

_**“Scientists have named the newly mutated strain, the NX-5. Symptoms are much more severe and citizens are asked to report anyone who may be infected..”** _

_**“Citizens are urged to stay indoors until the rioters have been detained. Shelters are trying their best to remain open and maintain order. Please remain calm and stay tuned for further information.”** _

_**“Board up any doors, windows, and stay out of sight… Ah, keep an eye out for rioters, they are extremely violent.. reports from police say that shelters are..oh god, th-they’re no longer safe. Stay away.. I don’t know what to do..** _

_“Kururi..? Where’s Mairu? I thought I told her not to wander off.”_

_The older twin shrugged. “Namie-san..”_

_Izaya’s eyes widened. “I told her to stay away from the basement!” He ran out of the room, down the hall and down the emergency stairs. He was going to kill Namie for this._

_._

_“I don’t care if you rough him up! Just get him in!” Namie ordered, opening the fence._

_Mairu was keeping the LD’s attention on her as she ran into the metal cage. “Come on zombie! Fresh Mairu booty!” She shook her butt side to side, letting her skirt flounce as she moved._

_The man shuffled across the floor, picking up speed as he was still fairly fresh. He hurried in after her but right when she was within reach, the fence was closed behind them._

_“Mairu!”_

_The younger twin had jumped up onto the fence but her skirt had gotten caught in the rusted chains. She quickly glanced up at her older brother, knowing that she was in deep trouble with him._

_“Mairu get out of there!” He dashed towards the fence but before he could even reach it, a squelch followed by a screech echoed throughout the basement._

_“IZA-NII!” She cried and screamed, as she was yanked from the fence and thrown to the ground._

_Izaya threw the door open, kicking the monster away from his sister and stabbing it through its eye socket. The body melted into a dark pool of blood. He stared at his shaking hands, covered in blood._

_“Iza-nii..it hurts! Iza-nii!” She grabbed his arm, digging her nails into his skin. “Why didn’t you save me?! Iza-nii!” Her teary eyed face contorted into a nasty snarl. “Your fault! I’m a monster!”_

_He could only stare, wide eyed at her face. The color drained into a sickly green. Blood poured out of her eyes, mouth, and nose. Yellowed, rotten teeth chomped at him. Her chipped nails, grabbed at his face as she bit into his neck, tearing at the flesh.  
He coughed and gurgled, falling back with his sister on top of him. “M-Mai..!”_

_“Iza-nii…”_

_He looked back behind him, reaching out for his other sister._

_Kururi pulled out a gun, she aimed it right at her temple. “Mairu..dead.” The gunshot echoed and her body dropped with a loud thud._

He screamed, shooting up in bed. He was drenched in sweat but for a moment he believed that it felt heavier, like blood. He had to look down to make sure it wasn’t blood. But for sure, that was definitely something new. A nightmare. Not just a bad dream, a full blown nightmare. It was probably because of what happened the day before but that didn’t make it any less unsettling. It obviously didn’t happen like that, but even after that.. incident, he didn’t have nightmares about it. He never had nightmares. 

He wasn’t a stranger to nightmares, but since the outbreak, he just didn’t have them. And now, after so long, he had one. The last thing he wanted to admit was that yesterday’s incident had left him traumatized. Shinra had already listed a bunch of ‘possible’ medical terms to define him, but he rejected them all.

.

Kadota had yet to show up, or so Namie had told him. He still wasn’t so sure about her efficiency anymore. It was hard to believe that after all this time she had actually gotten a tip on Shingen’s location. Russia, that was his second guess. Shingen would most likely be found in America, not that he’d tell Namie about it. Her sources were either extremely unreliable or they were playing her for the fool. Either way, he probably expected too much out of her if he thought she’d figure that out. 

“Saitou, I’m going to require your services.”

_“I’m surprised to hear from you. What is it you need, Orihara-san?”_

The chair swiveled around to face the window. “I need to impress my boss. You have a knack for impressing people.”

 _“Hm, have I not impressed Shiki-san enough?”_ He chuckled.

“You have, but now it’s serious. He needs something worthwhile. I thought that transportation or medical technology would work best. But finding that and getting you to fix it would take quite some time.” Time that he might not have.

_“You’re looking about this all wrong Orihara-san. What’s most important to people these days?”_

“Connections.”

_“Exactly. And how do people survive? By having the most connections.”_

“By having the most connections.” He answered at the same time.

_“If you get me what I need, then I can set your boss up with a wider range of connections. We aren’t the only ones out here, you know. And if I can get a satellite, it could probably cover all of Tokyo. Might even pick up on some..military signals.”_

“You can do that?” That would be perfect. The Awakusu might even find that valuable enough to spare Shinra. If they could intercept military channels, they might just find that their medical needs can be satisfied. 

_“Of course I can. I have plenty of experience.”_

Oh if only he could gather information as easily as before. He had his suspicions as to what kind of work Saitou used to be involved in, but any time he has gotten close to asking, Saitou would evade the topic. “Well, then I think we’re in business. Give me a list of what you’ll need and we’ll get it for you. But if you are going to work on it, then I’ll need you to come here. It’s too far to get to you and we already ran into some trouble the last time we went out. I won’t risk going out to get you.”

_“I’ll get someone to give me a ride. It might take a while for me to complete this project. I’m assuming I’ll be staying over there correct?”_

“Yes, and as you know we have enough room here for you. Now the list, I don’t have all day, I’ll need to check up on things around here.”

.

“How’s he doing Shinra?”

“Well, one of his wounds did get infected, but before red flags start going up, no it’s not the virus. Just a bacterial infection. I already gave him some antibiotics. I’m just glad that I didn’t find any super glue on him, he used to do that even after I kept telling him not to.” Shinra attached a new IV bag. “How’s uh..Erika?”

Saburo ran a hand through his hair. “She’s seen better days but we both know that Kadota will be fine. I’m sure he’ll be back by the end of the week. But Izaya’s secretary better keep an eye on the cameras.”

“I would fire her if I could. But then that would be cruel and heartless of me, wouldn’t it?” Izaya closed the door behind him. “Dota-chin will be back soon, I’m sure of it too. But right now, I want to figure out what to do with him.” He gestured towards Shizuo.

“He’s staying. I don’t see a reason why he should have to go.” Shinra sat down at the foot of Shizuo’s bed, smiling. Togusa nodded, walking over to the foot of the bed. “Yeah, I’m with him. I get that you two never got along, but he’s still our friend. And he could be a really big help to us.”

Leave it to these two to make things complicated. He already knew that Shinra, Erika, and Togusa wanted Shizuo to stay. Namie as well for her own reasons, and Kadota, if he was here, would also agree. Izaya was the odd one out. And at this point, there would be no changing their minds. 

“If he stays, I want you to understand how bad this could be for me.” He glanced between the two of them. “And possibly for all of us. Honestly, it hasn’t been long enough for you both to forget how we were. He’ll tear this place apart. And if that doesn’t work for him, he’ll convince you all to leave. Or to get rid of me.”

But they needed him. If they didn’t, he was sure they would have gotten rid of him a long time ago. Shinra might be his only friend here, but even he wouldn’t have hesitated to kick him out the door if he really wanted to. “I didn’t put myself in charge here, you all did. So if one person is going to oppose it, then you all might as well oppose me.”

“Izaya, I’ll talk to him. He’s was close with me and Celty.”

“I don’t need you to talk to him. If he can’t handle talking to me, then he can’t handle staying here.” 

“That’s not fair!” He glared at the raven. “How do you expect him to talk to you when you’re striving to piss him off?”

“He’s right. Shizuo may be violent, but you’re the worst kind of instigator.” Saburo glanced up at him. “You can’t deny that Izaya. You both are equally bad. He goes seeking you out to kick your ass, and you just egg him on.”

“Yeah well, I don’t want him trashing my place and compromising our food, water, and all our other valuables. This isn’t like before, the consequences will be much more severe. He either learns to deal with me, or he goes. That’s final.” This was about the only chance he’d give Shizuo. He knew that there was no possible way, but a small part of him was dreading Shizuo’s knack for surprising him. 

.

The blonde still occupied the bed. He hasn’t moved since he arrived, not even a sign of waking up. He almost looked calm, but he wasn’t. Shizuo was still. Nothing. He could tell just by looking at him. 

The door slowly creaked open, and the only other noise was from the bottom grazing the carpet. No light came in, since after eleven it was lights out. They needed to conserved their energy, and Izaya certainly didn’t want the generator dying out too soon. 

A small, slim figure creeped in. They picked up their feet after each step to not rustle the carpet. There was a small flash of light reflecting off metal. It was from the window, but tonight it was a waning crescent. Not nearly enough to brighten up the room. 

They tip toed to the bed, pulling the covers and sheets down enough to expose the idiot’s arm.

“He’s not immune.”

“Fuck! Izaya?” She hissed, backing away from the bed. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I would actually like to hear your answer to that question. What exactly are you doing here Namie? And with that syringe?” He pushed away from the wall, arms crossed as he walked towards her form.

“Don’t be stupid, you know exactly what I’m doing here. He’s always been a freak of nature, so I’m going to test him.” She pulled out the needle. “No one’s going to know. I just want a blood sample and I’ll be gone.”

He hated Shizuo as much as the next guy, but even he found this sickening. His body was the only thing he truly owned. He had to take care of it, building it up, and not let himself be taken so easily. It was his body, and even monsters had their bodies. “No. I already told you that he’s not immune. It’s a waste of time to even test it on his blood.”

“This could be the only chance we get at finding a real cure. What’s the real reason, huh? Because the Izaya Orihara that I used to know, wouldn’t give a damn what happened to him. As long as I didn’t take your kill from you.”

“You should just ask him to give you some when he wakes up. But not right now. I won’t allow it. Get out, go to bed.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around. 

“Tell me.”

“His blood isn’t special Namie. It’s all in his head. His only capability is that monstrous strength. But even monsters can get sick and die.” He tried pushing her out of the room, but she didn’t budge. “I just know, leave it at that.”

“I can’t. How do you know? I’m the scientist here, you’re an ex-informant. My value has gone up and yours has sunk to the bottom.” Namie shoved him away from her. “I’m more important that you, and I say that this needs to be done.”

“Well, Ms. Important,” He drove her back against the door. “I’m in charge here. I have let you into the safety of my home. I have provided you with luxuries and necessities that others can only dream about. And you repay me like this.. So I say that you should get going to bed. Put that syringe back from wherever you found it and forget about this stupid hypothesis of yours. I told you already, I know.”

“Know what? Please explain what goes on in that crazy head of yours.” she huffed.

“I don’t need to. This conversation is over Namie.”

“You’re making a mistake. You and Kishitani.” Her eyes narrowed at him, trying to understand what he meant. “For your sake, I hope this doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass.” She left with the flip of her hair.

Izaya turned back towards the blonde. “Even now you draw people in. Good or bad. But I’m right. I just know these things Shizu-chan. I _know_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some actual plot stuff! Well more specific plot stuff. I haven't given up on this! I'm sorry again for this being later than I expected. I will be trying my hardest to get this up sooner. I will try my very best to update this at least once a month. I'm sorry if that's really slow but that's about the best I can do right now. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! Comments or any kind of feedback are greatly appreciated. Though I am really sorry if I can't reply to you, I appreciate out all the same. Suggestions or ideas could also be taken into consideration! I'd like to hear what you guys think and maybe I could incorporate it into a chapter! I'm always trying to improve my writing. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes!
> 
> Thank you for those of you who stick around, read, and enjoy this! It really means a lot to me! 
> 
> S.S.


	6. Something's Missing

“Mommy is it ready?” The little girl called out from the living room.

“Shh, I have them.” She slowly shuffled in, carrying a tray with three bowls. It was instant ramen, but it was all they currently had. And it was a lucky gift.

“I’ll go out and look for some more.” 

“Oh Shizuo, that’s so sweet of you, but I…I’d rather you not go back out there.” She softly smiled, giving them each a spoon and a fork. “I really do appreciate all that you do for us.” 

“It’s nothing really.” He smiled, grabbing the fork and slurping up a few noodles. “As long as you two are safe, that’s all that matters.” He chuckled as Hisa scooted closer, smushed against his side. She was a cute kid. 

“Are you still going to look for your brother? I’m glad you’re here with us, but I’d hate to hold you back from finding him.” She frowned.   
Shizuo was their blessing but she couldn’t imagine not being able to look for Hisa if she had lost her. 

The little girl looked up at him, “Do you know where Kasu-chan is?” 

“No, but that’s the fun in finding him right?” He softly tousled her hair. She giggled playfully swatting his hand away, “Right!” 

They sat and enjoyed their dinner together. Afterwards, Hisa played with some of her toys, insistent on getting Shizuo involved. He was happy to play with her, often times playing the super hero that saved the town from the evil Mr. Doraemon. The plush toy was a bit creepy.   
One of his eyes was colored in with a sharpie. It was pretty dirty and there was a tear on the side of its neck that made his head awkwardly tilt to the side. Tuffs of stuffing were sticking out, leaving his massive head deflated a bit. 

Hisa said it was her favorite though. It was given to her by her daddy and she said the blacked out eye was supposed to look like him. Her mother never mentioned the girl’s father, and Hisa always spoke quietly about him. He was too polite to ask so he never did. 

Bed time came around soon enough. They had to blow out the candles and cover up the windows. They all slept in the living room together and Shizuo kept watch every night. At first the woman didn’t trust him and that was to be expected. You couldn’t trust anyone anymore, but that went away over time. Hisa had always trusted him, sometimes jokingly referring to him as super saiyan Goku. Only because he was blond.

He hadn’t meant to show off his strength, but as he always tended to do things in his own way, he ended up lifting the fridge to get one of Hisa’s drawings that slid under. He smiled, remembering how she jumped up in excitement, trying to climb up on him. Her mother wasn’t as easily swayed. Surprisingly, she felt better when he told her about his infamous reputation. 

“A monster wouldn’t admit to being one.”

It made him feel all warm inside, because some stranger didn’t even think of him as a monster. 

He would walk around the apartment, slow and quiet. Sometimes he would hold Hisa’s hand when the freaks were walking around outside.   
In groups they tended to bump into stuff and knock things over. That wasn’t such a big deal. It was the clawing and scratching against the walls, the hissing and growling, and worst of all was the moment their footsteps got just a bit faster as they went after whatever noise piqued their curiosity.

They always scared Hisa. She told him about her nightmares sometimes. She was afraid of losing them, but he always told her never to worry. Because he was stronger than Goku. 

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

He heard the thumps from downstairs. They lived on the third floor but it didn’t sound like it was the floor beneath theirs. It sounded like it was from the first floor. He could tell from the echo in the lobby. But none of the freaks could get in anyway. He had made sure to blockade the entrance. 

**BOOM!**

“Shit!” That shook the building! What the hell was that? But his blood ran cold when he heard the shuffling feet downstairs. More pairs of feet than he was comfortable hearing..

“Shizuo.” Nanako was pale and her expression filled with absolute horror. Hisa was in her arms, her mouth covered with her mother’s hand. If they heard her scream or cry, it would compromise them.

He held a finger to his lips. In three quick strides, he made his way to the door as silent as can be. With his back and ear to the door, he listened for them. They shouldn’t be able to come up, he had locked the emergency exits every night and the elevators weren’t in service   
so there was no way. They would leave eventually. 

The ruckus got louder and louder, and he swore it was getting closer to them. And when he heard of one the emergency doors slam against the wall, he knew something was very wrong. Those doors were strong, a group of freaks shouldn’t be able to get through it! 

Hisa whimpered, but her sobs were muffled. Nanako held her tight, unable to stop even herself from crying. She had thought they were safe here, but now she wasn’t so sure. They were quiet, they never left at night, they were careful! How could this be happening to them? 

They were on the second floor, making their way up, that much he could hear. And footsteps? Something was running towards them, but the freaks weren’t that fast. He felt something knock against the door and then the footsteps ran off, fading. It was a person! 

“Shizuo!” She tried to keep her voice low but she was terrified. They could all hear the freaks coming.

He glanced between her and the door, wondering what to do. They could easily break through the wooden door with numbers. Shizuo was strong, but he could only take so much before they overpowered him. And if they got through, he couldn’t let them touch him.

He quickly moved the furniture in front of the door. All the heavier wooden sets first and the rest following after it. “We have to get out of here.” He grabbed his back and stuffed in some extra clothing and blankets. 

Nanako carried Hisa, pleading with her not to make a sound. She pointed out what she wanted Shizuo to take while she wrapped Hisa up in a blanket. 

“The window, hurry.”

The emergency door on their floor was thrown open and the footsteps got louder. They scratched and clawed at the walls. Groans and hisses were heard and soon enough they were right behind the door. 

Shizuo opened up the window, relieved to see that there weren’t any freaks in the alley. They must have followed the others into their building. “I’ll go first. Jump down, I’ll catch you.” He secured the bag and squeezed through, jumping over the ledge and sticking a shaky landing. He wasn’t as nimble as he used to be but the fall wasn’t enough to hurt him. He looked up waving for her to jump. They both couldn’t fit through the window at the same time. It only opened so much. 

The freaks banged and scratched at the front door. The wood groaned as they tried to force their way through. The hinges started to crack and splinter as the furniture was pushed in. She kissed Hisa’s forehead, eventually letting go. Shizuo was right there to catch her, unfortunately the girl couldn’t keep quiet.

“Mooommy!”

Right as Nanako was about to climb through the window, an explosion shook the building. She made the mistake of looking back as freaks poured into the apartment. She quickly forced her way through the window, barely getting half of her body out before she was grabbed from inside.

Shizuo froze up when he heard the woman scream. He wanted to get angry, he wanted to rampage and destroy everything in sight. But the despair inside told him there was no point. She was as good as dead now. Hisa screamed and cried in his arms, thrashing about and reaching out for her mother.

“GO!” Nanako cried out as she was yanked back inside. Hisa kept crying and screaming for her. It snapped him out of his trance and he ran. He didn’t bother to keep her quiet, he just ran. 

.

“Shizu-chan..I want my mommy..” She sobbed. The blonde could only cradle her in his arms. The poor thing was still taking it pretty badly.

“I know, but we have to keep going. It’s what she wanted.” He stroked her hair, feeling her curl up against his chest. He had managed to find a place to stay. It was a convenience store, but it was already barricaded when they got there. He forced his way through the back door and covered it up. 

He tried thinking back to what happened, but it never made sense. How did they even get in the building? He locked all the doors, the lobby was barricaded! And he knows that whoever came crashing at their door first was human. If they were one of the freaks, then they would have tried getting in, but they ran. Maybe it was someone running away from them, but it still didn’t explain how they got in.   
And then the explosion. It was no coincidence. Whoever ran by, planted it. He didn’t want to get in, he wanted to let them in. How he knew where they were, or what he wanted with them.. that was the biggest question.

After a while, Hisa had fallen asleep. There wasn’t much to use in this store, but there was a lounge in the back with a couch. He let her sleep, unable to rest when he had to watch her. 

Everything was still bugging him. Nanako was dead, and he didn’t know what to do. Hisa was now his responsibility, but he knew nothing about taking care of children. He remembers Akane from so long ago but he just left her to Shinra and Celty. He couldn’t leave Hisa with anyone. He had to take care of her from now on. 

While searching around the store, he found more supplies they could use. A first aid kit and a few cans of food. The rest was useless junk.   
They needed water though. He knew better than to collect rainwater since the world wasn’t as clean as it used to be. He either found clean water or found a better way to clean it. Nanako had told him they could boil it but he didn’t know how to do that without the necessary supplies. 

Already he was stressing out about how he was going to handle this. Hisa needed her mother. She needed someone who could really take care of her! Not him. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling frustrated with everything. But he knew that Hisa must be taking this worse than him. She just lost her mother and had to watch as they left her behind. He still heard her screams as they ran. It was haunting. 

“Shizu-chan.” He turned when the subject of his frustrations came walking around the back corner. Her eyes were puffy and red, and she looked exhausted. Who could blame her?

“Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

She shook her head, “I don’t wanna be alone.” 

He nodded and held his arm out for her. Hisa readily ran into them, clutching the back of his shirt. They didn’t say much more as he walked her back to the employee lounge. It was quiet outside and whoever was following them was gone so they would be safe here for now. 

.

It was no fucking coincidence. The next attacks were intentional and someone had it out there for them. He kept running, but every time they thought they were safe they would end up running again. He didn’t know who was after them or why but whoever they were had good eyes around here. They never stayed anywhere longer for a night. 

“Shizu-chan..I wanna go home.” 

It was getting harder to take care of Hisa. He’s been starving himself just so she had something to eat. He didn’t mind, but it was taking a toll on his energy. He couldn’t run as fast, he could barely keep up with these people. No matter where he stopped to get a break, they were always nearby. 

“I know, but we have to keep going.” He had found another empty apartment to stay in. The first night, he waited and waited. When nothing happened, he was on edge. The next couple of days passed and there was still no activity. Hisa felt at ease when he didn’t. After their normal routine was broken, she had come to accept the fact that nothing was wrong.

_“Shizu-chan!”_

.

“My biggest question right now, was why you had a gun. Despite your use of traffic signs, I never considered you would one day use an actual weapon. You obviously didn’t get it yourself, so somewhere along the way someone gave it to you. Now who could actually convince you to carry?”

Hearing that voice as soon as he was conscious again, was a migraine waiting to happen. But after so long, it felt nostalgic. And yet, as the voice kept talking, he found the same anger from so long ago bubbling up again.

“After all, I would never imagine you as one who could carry any kind of weapon other than a street sign. But I guess even protozoans need to evolve sometime.”

But Shizuo wasn’t stupid. Izaya was a needy son of a bitch. He thrived on attention, and so silence was his best weapon against him. He supposed the only upside to this end of the world was all the time it gave him to think. If he ever admitted that to the stupid flea, he’d only retort with a stupid jibe at his intelligence. 

“Hellooo? Have you gone deaf as well? I don’t think there’s anything Shinra can do about that.” He waved his hand, pacing around the room in frustration. Why the hell was he so quiet? “Oh well, I told them you were useless. The only reason you’re here is because I didn’t want my own-“

Shizuo sat up as soon as he heard Shinra’s name. He felt sore but not so much that he couldn’t get up. This whole place reeked of the flea, but still smelled pretty sterile. He carefully limped towards the door, ignoring the idiot who was still trying to get his attention. He couldn’t believe that Shinra was here, but if he was here then surely Celty was too! 

“Shinra!” He stumbled out into the living room, looking for the doctor. He seriously hoped he wasn’t the last man on earth with Izaya. There would be hell to pay if that was really the case. 

“He’s not here, he’s up at my place.”

Ugh, he wanted to strangle someone but finding Shinra was more important right now. He hurried out the front door, looking down the halls. It was really quiet, not that he wasn’t used to it. He just wasn’t used to being in such a big place with no noise. Hisa was always..

“Who’s Hisa?” There he was again, leaning against the door frame like he was the shit. 

He swung around, grabbing him by the collar and slamming him against the wall. “Where is she? HUH? It’s not a coincidence that I end up here and she’s gone!” He snarled. Oh, how he wanted to punch him until he made any face but that one. 

“If you don’t know, what makes you think I do? Still see me as that conniving flea?” 

Shizuo yanked him forward again before shoving him back against the wall. God he hated that stupid smirk! “I’m not playing games! Where is Shinra?”

Izaya sighed, “I already told you he’s upstairs. Now maybe if you calmed your animalistic behavior, we could go see him as two civilized adults.” 

He growled, releasing his grip and heading towards the stairs. For a second he expected them to be locked but he remembered this wasn’t their apartment. This was Izaya’s place, it reeked of him. The walk upstairs was even more tense with Izaya quietly walking behind him.   
Shizuo almost expected him to have that stupid knife to his back. 

“It’s this floor, fifth door on the left.” 

The 8th floor, he’d have to remember that if he ever got lost around here. He hurried down the hall, stopping at the fifth door, but it was locked. He didn’t care, he twisted the handle further than it should go and forced it open. “Shinra? Celty?” Where were they? And what was up with the weird set up? There were maps of the city pinned up on the walls. A big desk had multiple monitors connected, along with piles and piles of paper, littering the desk, the floor, and scattered among different areas of the apartment. 

A swivel chair came rolling out from behind the giant monitors. “Shizuo! You’re awake!” Shinra was up on his feet and across the room in an instance. 

Shizuo didn’t know how to react when the doctor suddenly hugged him, but then he was off again as if expecting to be hit. 

“Sorry!” He nervously chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s just..it’s good to see a familiar face.” He smiled. “Well you specifically.”   
He glanced over at Izaya as he entered. 

The blond’s face softened. “It’s good to see you too. Where’s Celty? She’s gotta be around here right?” He knew that a supernatural being such as Celty couldn’t have possibly succumb to the virus. What worried him though, was how Shinra’s smile immediately dropped into a frown. 

“She’s…she’s gone Shizuo. But it’s just for a little while. I appreciate the concern!” He beamed, just wanting to change the subject. “Let’s talk about you though! Where have you been all this time? We haven’t heard from you since this whole disaster started!” He babbled on about what has happened since.

How they all teamed up and gathered here. They were stuck with Izaya as a leader but that he wasn’t so bad anymore, really! Kadota and his gang hung around though at the moment they were missing Kadota. 

“What?! Well where is he? We have to go find him!” He knew first hand how dangerous it was out there. But not because of the zombies. Live ones were much much worse. It was the humans they had to look out for. 

“Shizuo calm down. You just woke up and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re not healing nearly as fast as you normally would have. I need to really check you over and ask you some health related questions.”

That only upset him more. “Shinra..” he growled, “We don’t have time to be messing around with stupid shit like that! If you’re not going to help me, then I’ll go out myself!” He stomped back towards the front door, but there was Togusa and Erika watching him. 

“Shizuo.” The shy woman kept direct eye contact with him. As if she was looking for something. He would be lying if he said it didn’t make him a bit uneasy. Then she just nodded once and walked out.

“Good to have you back Shizuo.” Togusa took his hand in a firm grip, before gesturing him to follow. “Now let’s go get Kadota back.” He jogged up ahead to catch up with Erika. Shizuo soon snapped out of it with a grin and ran after them. 

“Why that face?” Shinra stepped over to the desk, plopping down on the chair and bringing up the surveillance in the halls. “Where you expecting something else? Maybe sitting outside a destroyed building. Or hoards coming after us once they heard him screaming your name? Honestly, I’m surprised by how you handled it.”

“How long have you been watching?” He didn’t look back at the doctor, just staring at the door.

Shinra sighed, stretching his arms. “Since you two walked out of that room. So what are you waiting for? An invitation. Seems you guys have a job to do.”

He clenched his jaw. "Asshole." Izaya grabbed his pack on the way out and hurried to catch up. This was going to be another long day, and it was already late. But he couldn’t back out of this now. 

By the time he was down at the basement, he was fully dressed, geared up and ready. Erika and Togusa were getting Shizuo into more layers and a pair of gloves. The days were warm, but the nights were getting cooler. 

“Flashlights, batteries, matches, who has the lantern?” They all turned to face him and Erika raised her hand when he asked about the lantern. “Good. I’m not staying out all night. I got the maps for briefing.” He spread them out on the floor and they knelt down to see, all except Shizuo. 

He was looking at the three of them as if they were crazy. “Wait a minute. Flea, what are you doing? Let’s just go!” He was more pissed off at the fact that Togusa and Erika were so readily following his orders. 

“Ah Shizu-chan, I envy your simple mind, but now isn’t the time to be arguing with me.” Izaya flashed a disturbingly innocent smile at him.

“Don’t fu-“ He froze. In the blink of an eye, Izaya was right in his face, a knife to his throat. When did he get so fast? 

“Sit and listen.” He smirked. Inside, he was feeling giddy with anticipation. He knew what would come next. Shizuo would growl, low and monstrous at the audacity Izaya had for ordering him around. He’d make a grab for Izaya’s knife but by before he could, the raven would already be out of reach. And the same old chase would ensue. 

Though Izaya was met with disappointment when Shizuo did exactly what he had asked. He slowly lowered himself down, looking at the map.

Everything inside him was screaming at this reaction. Why didn’t Shizuo do anything? Why didn’t he even call Izaya out on it?! The raven stepped back into his own space, his expression calm and collected once more. 

“We’re searching the immediate area as of now. No one goes further than 7 miles. Tomorrow we’ll go further out in daylight.” He circled the area and put an ‘X’ over a couple of spots. “Remember those are dead zones. We can check them out if we see or hear anything suspicious, but I’d rather avoid them at all costs. I want to be back preferably before midnight so we can still go out, relatively early tomorrow morning.”

“Where should we start?” Togusa asked, looking at the map. “I think we should work our way in from the furthest border. That way we’ll have a better chance of finding him if he’s out there. If he was close enough then he would be able to get back on his own and Shinra will let him in. There’s no point in looking so close to the building.”

“Very well, we’ll take this route then and we’ll scout the area from the 7th mile border to the 4th. It’ll most likely take us all night to get through it all, but it shouldn’t be too hard to finish up the rest. I don’t want anyone splitting up. We stay within approximately 10 feet away from each other. No one goes out of sight.” Erika and Saburo already knew the protocol, he was just reiterating all this information for their ‘newest member.’ 

“Shizu-chan. I know you tend to solve your problems with brute force..but just know that if circumstances lead to you being infected, then I will do what is necessary to avoid further contamination.” 

That earned him a grumbled response. “I’m not stupid, I know how dangerous it is out there.”

“Just checking.” He reassured.

.

It was 8 by the time they made it through have of their charted route. Nigh time was the noisiest. LDs seemed to gather up and cause more trouble. They could be heard all around. Hissing, gurgling noises echoed off the empty city buildings and walls. They ran into a few but Izaya insisted that Shizuo sit out of this fight with until he got the ropes of how they worked. No argument there and he was glad for it. 

Out here there was no messing around. If Shizuo went into a fit of anger now, then it would give away their location for miles and now doubt, they would be surrounded before they could make it back to his building. 

So the brute held back with Erika while Izaya and Togusa took the lead. Either way, he was given orders to protect Erika no matter what.

What he still couldn’t wrap his mind around, was why they were under Izaya. If they had really been together for as long as Shinra said, then why the hell would they ever put their trust in the no good flea? After all the shit they went through because of him. Ikebukuro became a war zone, involving a whole bunch of good for nothing punks and even innocent people! All for his own sick entertainment!

He wanted to ask Erika or Togusa about all of this but they were out and busy. Their main goal was to find Kadota after all. 

Shizuo accidentally bumped into Erika but before he could apologize, a hand covered his mouth. Up ahead, he could see it, and the noise definitely picked up. 

The furthest street directly in front of them was congested with those things. And from both sides two larger groups were closing in. They would all converge soon and the only other place to go would be in their direction. 

A growl erupted from one of the few in front. Before they could think to move, it came running at them. Soon enough other runners joined it. 

“Go!” Izaya spun around, pointing his knife and telling them to run. 

Shizuo sprinted ahead, looking for a way to higher ground. The faster they got out of here, the better. A building just up ahead had the perfect fire escape within reach. He could jump and bring it down for them. 

Running straight for the wall, he jumped, kicking off and grabbing the metal ladder. He brought it down with all his wait until it clanged, going only low enough to reach not touching the ground. “Come on!”

They dashed for the ladder as Shizuo was climbing up. The runners were right on them, clawing and reaching out. Togusa was first on, quickly being hauled up by Shizuo and Izaya was next. 

“Erika come on!” Izaya cried out, grabbing the ladder but moving to grab onto the next bar. She was fiddling with her pack, pulling out a molotov. Shit! “There’s no time! Let’s go!”

In an instant the cloth ignited and then seconds later, it was crashing against the pavement, splashing anything near it with alcohol, allowing it to catch fire too. But it was pointless and Erika knew it. LDs wouldn’t stop. Fire wouldn’t stop them until it literally burned through them enough that they couldn’t move anymore. Sometimes it would kill them, other times they would just be burned. 

When she finally reached the ladder, he moved up as fast as he could, kicking up and skipping bars just to get himself up. Erika screamed and he looked down in time to see that one of the runners had caught hold of her ankle. Izaya quickly swung over to the other side of the ladder and slid down far enough for his blade to flick out of his shoe and kick into the thing’s head. Dark heavy blood pooled out from the wound and the LD collapsed.

Erika took her chance to climb up the ladder, desperately clinging to Shizuo’s outstretched hand. Izaya made haste as the other runners caught up, growling and trying to jump to reach him. Once he was back on the small metal platform, he saw the other two up close in   
Erika’s space. “Give her room, you idiots!” He pushed Togusa aside and gently grabbed Erika’s ankle, pulling up the pants sleeve and lowering her sock. No scratch, no blood. Perhaps a forming bruise from the grip, but nothing that would kill and turn her.

“Hey, you’re okay.. See? Nothing got to you. You’re clean.” He reassured her, feeling better when she looked for herself and relaxed soon after. “We have to get going now. We’ll look on the way back, and tomorrow, okay?”

She slowly nodded, looking down at the small fire down there. They were at most, maybe 15 feet off the ground. It wasn’t enough for her to feel safe. But she cared more that the fire keep going for as long as possible. If Kadota was within the city, he would definitely see the smoke rising. 

They kicked their way inside the building and pinpointed their location. A good couple of miles out, but they should definitely make it before midnight as long as they played it safe. 

Inside they checked the few rooms they passed by for any possible goods or for any LDs inside but everything seemed clear.

A strong arm, grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the hidden corner. The other two were walking ahead. “What the fuck was that flea?” his attacker snarled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Shizu-chan. You’ll have to be more specific.” He couldn’t keep that clever, all knowing smile off his face. Of course he knew what Shizuo meant, but it was a moment of weakness. He did it for Kadota and his failed attempt to protect his group. 

“You know exactly what I mean scumbag. Whatever bull shit that was back there, it wasn’t you. I don’t care what you’re planning. Cut it out _now_.” He shoved Izaya back and put much needed space between them.

“Is it so hard Shizu-chan?” he chuckled. “To believe that I could actually do something for someone else? That I’m not planning anything? That my actions are pure?”

“It is.” His eyes narrowed, not believing the raven for a second.   
Izaya turned away, walking to catch up with the others. “Predictable as always.” Though the disappointment and confusion he felt was not something he expected. 

Shizuo was never going to view him any differently than he had before, and that was to be expected. Maybe he didn’t think it would be this intense, considering the moment that Shizuo woke up. But then again, why would he expect anything to be different? Even something so small and minute. 

“That’s why I hate you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooo sooo sooooo sorry. No excuses. I said I would try to get these chapters out every month and I haven't delivered. I'm sincerely sorry and extremely appreciative of those who will still be willing to follow this story. 
> 
> I'm thinking about trying something. Posting a chapter or this every month, and then a chapter of my other three stories one month after the last. So updates for those will probably be 2 to 3 months apart while this one will be every month. And for my ZoSan fic, if anyone is reading that, it will be on a completely weird schedule because I'm drawing artwork for that one.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Rant, complain, feedback, anything you just want me to know. I don't mind angry comments because I know it's unfair to promise something and not deliver. Sorry again, hope you continue to follow. I really do greatly appreciate those who stick around. You guys give me motivation to keep this up.


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